Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Russell · 05-30-2008, 10:58 PM

My 180 degrees....

1) I quite drinking cold turkey. No questions or requests asked, I knew it was an issue.

2) I quite playing EverQuest. Real time hog. To much dedication to a fantasy, not enough dedication to my family.

3) I started controlling my anger. I could see red in an instant. Now I still see red in an instant, however I control how I react to such an anger.

4) I started playing with my son instead of just being a father. I mean, anyone can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy.

5) I forgave my wife for her affair. The kicker is, she fell in love with the jerk. Eventually I ended up thanking him for the good that came out of a bad situation. I am still learning to trust her again though. Thats a toughy. I mean, not like this was a one night stand. the hardest part, I have forgiven, but I will never forget. And that is worrying me.

6) I have learned that there is much more to life than what I was living. I am also giving it my best effort to stop smoking. And I'm almost there. Please, wish my iron will, I am going to need it.

Basicly... I have the desire to be the best man that my wife deserves. I know she can do better than me.

The most profound impact that this has had is on my self confidence. I remember when I was growing up with an emotionally abusive father... I felt like I could do nothing. I couldn't please him no matter what good I did. I was always looking at the ground instead of what was going on around me. When I met my wife, I starting looking at other things. She showed me that I can be me, and that I can be a good person without hurting others. Now... I find myself staring at my feet while I'm walking... again.

05-30-2008, 10:58 PM	#25 (permalink)
Russell Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 58	Re: Feeling hollow inside My 180 degrees.... 1) I quite drinking cold turkey. No questions or requests asked, I knew it was an issue. 2) I quite playing EverQuest. Real time hog. To much dedication to a fantasy, not enough dedication to my family. 3) I started controlling my anger. I could see red in an instant. Now I still see red in an instant, however I control how I react to such an anger. 4) I started playing with my son instead of just being a father. I mean, anyone can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy. 5) I forgave my wife for her affair. The kicker is, she fell in love with the jerk. Eventually I ended up thanking him for the good that came out of a bad situation. I am still learning to trust her again though. Thats a toughy. I mean, not like this was a one night stand. the hardest part, I have forgiven, but I will never forget. And that is worrying me. 6) I have learned that there is much more to life than what I was living. I am also giving it my best effort to stop smoking. And I'm almost there. Please, wish my iron will, I am going to need it. Basicly... I have the desire to be the best man that my wife deserves. I know she can do better than me. The most profound impact that this has had is on my self confidence. I remember when I was growing up with an emotionally abusive father... I felt like I could do nothing. I couldn't please him no matter what good I did. I was always looking at the ground instead of what was going on around me. When I met my wife, I starting looking at other things. She showed me that I can be me, and that I can be a good person without hurting others. Now... I find myself staring at my feet while I'm walking... again. __________________ Hi, my name is Russ, and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Sober since 27 March, 2008. Last edited by Russell; 05-30-2008 at 11:06 PM.