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Originally Posted by craftymindy  Thanks everyone for your responses! I'm gonna do my best to answer everything ok 
Some background info .. My hubby is a large man, and over time he has gained more weight and he has some significant esteem issues and I have always tried to remind him that I love him unconditionally. He tells me that physically its difficult to get in position {sorry if TMI} I have tried to help him stay on track sometimes its not so successful. Ive asked him if he no longer finds me attractive he tells me he is and he will do cute little things to show me he does but that's it, its all teasing it never goes anywhere else. It frustrates me completely!
If I want just meaningless sex I could have that anywhere, I want the passionate intimacy i so miss and crave. I have asked him if its anything I have done to make him not want me anymore. 
We do have busy lives and he works 60-80 hrs a week from home in the technology field, he has taken my sons as his own and tries to be a good dad to them. {Their bio dad is absent} He is pretty stressed out and I try hard to help him but I must be doing something wrong.
I have told him that there are married men out in the world who wish there wives want sex as much as I do he chuckles and promises to do better but its always just promises 
I am sad a lot and I spend a lot of nights crying when he is sleeping ... I don't wanna live this way I'm too young! |
Ah, I think the picture is clearer now. I believe the root cause to his lower sex drive is 1) long hours/stress from work and 2) his weight causes him self esteem issues. I'm thinking that the best approach may be for the two of you to make a commitment to health and fitness. Improving his physical image will go a long way towards improving his libido IMO. And there is no better way to encourage your husband to go on this path than to do it together. Maybe you broach the subject to say it is primarily about his health and to teach your children how to live healthy - which it should be anyways. However, I strongly suspect that if you both work towards a health commitment, your sex life improving will be a desirable side effect. I still suspect more may need to be done on the job front, but that may not be possible until the economy becomes more stable.
