Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Red flag from disloyal spouses of false reconciliation/recovery

Gabriel · 07-16-2012, 03:02 PM

I think there is a fulcrum that sits between being able to bring up the affair at will, and relentlessly punishing the disloyal spouse.

Even as a BS, I think there is a point where yelling, cutting down your WS becomes abusive and wrong, and there is only so much they can take. And for a WS to express that to the BS I think is fair.

WS should be prepared for backlash, discussion, etc, but if they have reached their limit on time and/or severity, they have every right to tell their BS as such, or just end the relationship, citing too much damage has been done.

That said, the WS doesn't have the right to threaten the BS, or make demands. They have no say in that. But they can say enough is enough if they feel they've been spanked way too many times. Then it is up to the BS from there, to either back down a bit, or just go for D.

My WW has been very careful to tiptoe around things that would trigger me or cause me grief about the A. I've asked her to not say certain things, etc, and she has obliged. If they do what we ask, and we continue to insult them or scream, etc, like a many months later, we might as well stop and just D.

07-16-2012, 03:02 PM	#33 (permalink)
Gabriel Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 1,661	Re: Red flag from disloyal spouses of false reconciliation/recovery I think there is a fulcrum that sits between being able to bring up the affair at will, and relentlessly punishing the disloyal spouse. Even as a BS, I think there is a point where yelling, cutting down your WS becomes abusive and wrong, and there is only so much they can take. And for a WS to express that to the BS I think is fair. WS should be prepared for backlash, discussion, etc, but if they have reached their limit on time and/or severity, they have every right to tell their BS as such, or just end the relationship, citing too much damage has been done. That said, the WS doesn't have the right to threaten the BS, or make demands. They have no say in that. But they can say enough is enough if they feel they've been spanked way too many times. Then it is up to the BS from there, to either back down a bit, or just go for D. My WW has been very careful to tiptoe around things that would trigger me or cause me grief about the A. I've asked her to not say certain things, etc, and she has obliged. If they do what we ask, and we continue to insult them or scream, etc, like a many months later, we might as well stop and just D.