Originally Posted by PinkBeret
Well if you don't miss him anymore that's a huge indicator there! I'm not a fan of divorces as I feel that every problem can be worked on and every couple can achieve that healthy happy marriage. However, I do believe that every marriage -- a very intimate and fragile relationship-- has a time schedule. If you wait too long and too much damage is done or space has come between the two of you, which I'm afraid it has, then it will take more than love or just a desire to want what you used to have to make it work again. It's going to take unconditional love and selflessness until you two can create a loving normalcy for your marriage. And the reason for this is, you no longer have any motivation to have a good relationship with each other and can live without each other. There used to be a need before for each other's love and companionship and that was the motivation...but it seems that need is no longer there or is taking its last breath.
Though I really feel in your situation that the love can return and the resentments can be removed if you both make a commitment to love each other even when you don't want to. Can you be a wife that respects her husband when he doesn't deserve it? And can your husband be loving to you when you're not lovable? And last question, do you both want to give it another chance?
I really don't know, I just dont. I would love to get into counseling with him, but knowing his ego and his personality, I really do doubt that he would give in. He doesn't think anyone should know of our problems (especially a stranger) and believes through communication we can solve everything. That only lasts for a nano of a second.
Besides, counseling is out of the q for us now because we are living in different states.
It's not that I dont miss him, I just dont miss him because I know if I miss him and do look for him we'll end up fighting, so I rather have him away for a few days (no communication) doing whatever the hell it is that he's doing than speaking. Theres just always tension in the air when we speak. I dont trust him, for numerous reasons, he doesnt trust me, for his own reasons too, and that alone is such a HUGE reason for all the tension.
Ugh, I just feel so lonely. With or without him. Does that makes sense?