hurtbyhim777

Thanks for all the support! I do find myself bickering and bantering and yes it really complicates things. He is like a child and goes from saying "you can stay here tonight and rubbing up against me" to you need to get a trailer and get your stuff moved.

Even though I left, it is still so hard to think of life without him! I have spent 25 years trying to be the person he wanted me to be when all the while, everytime he feels like it, he brings up things I did when I was 17-19 and makes out like I am a wh***. Yet he is the one who has had numerous others through our relationship!

I come home and try to do some extra office work for my "real" job last night - and he went out and stayed out all night. I talked to my 20yo S this am and he said "dad is on the way, we have to do a job - he said he would be here in 20 minutes".

Boy, you can tell this is really hurting him! I will have been gone 2 weeks tonight and he's out and having fun!

I plan to see a money counselor near my work that has a kinship for divorce cases. She, according to a friend I work with, "saved her life with her knowledge and help" when my friend left her cheating H. Hopefully she will advise me of how and what to do to start the separation of all our entanglements! But I will say, if not for my kids, I would walk away from every asset just to be clear of him. But I know that will not work...my daughter wants to go to college and our biz makes 10 times more than I do at my job -

My biggest issue is still catching myself thinking how will he react if we do stuff: is he going to be mad if I work late, is he going to be mad someone scratched the car, is he going to fuss because I let D go to the ballgame - It has always been - tip toeing around him and how he will react.

This is liberating - leaving and telling my story - even though anonymously - but still I feel such fear and sadness and anger