Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Do you condone cheating if a spouse willingly refuses sex?

River1977 · 07-18-2012, 05:05 PM

Why is it called cheating? If your spouse refuses to ever have sex, how is it that you're cheating? Marriage vows are taken as a promise to be true to each other, that you will only have sex with each other. So, if Spouse A removes sex from the marriage, why is it called cheating for the Spouse B to go have sex with someone else? It isn't for one person to decide a life-long sentence for the other person. Spouse A can decide for him/herself never to have sex again, but they have no right to decide that for Spouse B. I'm not saying it's automatic permission. It's something that should be discussed between both parties, or get a divorce. What I want to know is why it's call "cheating." In other words, how can Spouse B mess around on or cheat on Spouse A if Spouse A refuses to have sex?

Trying to figure out how to ask the question, so I'll ask it another way:
If there is no sex in the marriage, how is a person cheating or being unfaithful?

Trying to figure another way to ask the same question:
I just think there should be another word for it because I don't see it as being the same as cheating. Cheating, to me, is going outside the marriage without reason. If Spouse A removes sex, then there is no aspect of sex in the marriage, so who is Spouse B cheating on or being unfaithful to?

It's like saying a person is cheating on their spouse if they talk with other people about their sex life when their spouse won't talk with them about it.

Maybe that's a bad example. I keep trying because I fear I'm not making my point very well or asking the question in the correct context. I'm not trying to say it's right or wrong. I'm trying to say it should be called a different word.

Am I making any sense yet LOL?

07-18-2012, 05:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
River1977 Banned Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 537	Re: Do you condone cheating if a spouse willingly refuses sex? Why is it called cheating? If your spouse refuses to ever have sex, how is it that you're cheating? Marriage vows are taken as a promise to be true to each other, that you will only have sex with each other. So, if Spouse A removes sex from the marriage, why is it called cheating for the Spouse B to go have sex with someone else? It isn't for one person to decide a life-long sentence for the other person. Spouse A can decide for him/herself never to have sex again, but they have no right to decide that for Spouse B. I'm not saying it's automatic permission. It's something that should be discussed between both parties, or get a divorce. What I want to know is why it's call "cheating." In other words, how can Spouse B mess around on or cheat on Spouse A if Spouse A refuses to have sex? Trying to figure out how to ask the question, so I'll ask it another way: If there is no sex in the marriage, how is a person cheating or being unfaithful? Trying to figure another way to ask the same question: I just think there should be another word for it because I don't see it as being the same as cheating. Cheating, to me, is going outside the marriage without reason. If Spouse A removes sex, then there is no aspect of sex in the marriage, so who is Spouse B cheating on or being unfaithful to? It's like saying a person is cheating on their spouse if they talk with other people about their sex life when their spouse won't talk with them about it. Maybe that's a bad example. I keep trying because I fear I'm not making my point very well or asking the question in the correct context. I'm not trying to say it's right or wrong. I'm trying to say it should be called a different word. Am I making any sense yet LOL?