Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Divorcing after discovering husband's affair. Need help :(

EleGirl · 07-19-2012, 08:32 PM

You can propose what you want... as you have done. Just because he does not agree does not mean that you have to remove it. The things that you two do not agree upon will be settled by a judge in the end. Many judges allow such directives to go through. So stick by your guns on this one.

Unfortunately in a divorce you have little say over what goes on when your son is with his father. He has as much right to decide what goes on in your son's life as you do. Your son will being growing up with 2 sets of rules.

You say that you cannot let your son go stay with his dad if the OW is there. You really have no choice. You have to let your son go. If you do not, your husband will get the police to enforce the court order. You could lose custody and only get supervise visitation if you try to prevent your son from going over to his dad's.

What you can do is to trust that your son will be growing up into an emotionally strong man. You can help him learn, even from this bad situation. You can take him to counseling while he's in your care if you feel you need someone to help him understand what is going on.

I did that with my son. He's 23 now. He's an emotionally strong young man. He knows his father's and my flaws and still loves us both. The divorce was not easy for him but we discussed it a lot.

Your son will get through this if you teach him things that help him handle it.

07-19-2012, 08:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
EleGirl Forum Supporter Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: New Mexico Posts: 10,555	Re: Divorcing after discovering husband's affair. Need help :( You can propose what you want... as you have done. Just because he does not agree does not mean that you have to remove it. The things that you two do not agree upon will be settled by a judge in the end. Many judges allow such directives to go through. So stick by your guns on this one. Unfortunately in a divorce you have little say over what goes on when your son is with his father. He has as much right to decide what goes on in your son's life as you do. Your son will being growing up with 2 sets of rules. You say that you cannot let your son go stay with his dad if the OW is there. You really have no choice. You have to let your son go. If you do not, your husband will get the police to enforce the court order. You could lose custody and only get supervise visitation if you try to prevent your son from going over to his dad's. What you can do is to trust that your son will be growing up into an emotionally strong man. You can help him learn, even from this bad situation. You can take him to counseling while he's in your care if you feel you need someone to help him understand what is going on. I did that with my son. He's 23 now. He's an emotionally strong young man. He knows his father's and my flaws and still loves us both. The divorce was not easy for him but we discussed it a lot. Your son will get through this if you teach him things that help him handle it. __________________ Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters Last edited by EleGirl; 07-19-2012 at 09:06 PM.