| | Re: Lost and scared to death (this is a long one)
I would talk to your wife and see if she will agree that no matter what the issues of the day are, that you will both put your children's best interest first. I don't mean toss the marriage aside, but you cannot leave the children in a limbo state every time you both have a blowout...they have been through more than enough already...they need a stable home with stable parents. Don't risk your stable job by taking off when you are fed up.
If you can agree to that, I think counseling is a great idea for you both. Since she was prostituting herself when you met and married her, you have some unique dynamics where sex outside of the marriage may not mean the same thing to her that it does for you...it sounds like she could use some serious counseling...Her addiction is a difficult one to beat and although she has been clean for a long time now, it seems she has fallen apart in many other areas of her life that still need some work to rebuild.