Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Am I making the right decision? When do you know you've tried all that you can?

Russell · 06-02-2008, 10:48 PM

I agree with Tor in one respect... if he is a good man, with no major problems such as drug abuse or is violent, maybe you should reconsider. Now... the reason I say this is because you just don't fall out of love. Love is eternal, and you will go to the grave with the love you have for your husband. Now, thats not to say that he hasn't given as much to you as you have to him. It sounds primarily like the two of you have lost an intimate connection... and that is communication.

And if there is a 'someone else' involved then shame on you. My wife told me it was the 'newness' of it all after we calmed down after her affair and I started believeing her when she told him it was over. She absolutely devastated me. My son is my hero... I had the barrel in my mouth and my finger on the trigger and a round chambered. Then I heard him. And to tell you the truth... I'm still trying to find what little confidence I have left of all this.

So there are ramifications to all this. In order to be fair to him you have to tell him that you feel like you love him but are no longer in love with him. You need to see if there is anything left of your relationship to salvage. You have to at least give him a chance to remind you of why you are in love with him, however bored you may be.

Please don't make the same mistake my wife did. It almost killed me.

By the way... its been three months... the date is below. Thats the day my life came crumblimg down. That was the day I chose to live life again... and stop living through a bottle. I was very tested through all of it though. Jane and I are still together, and we want to move out of state. We want away from her family, away from our current living conditions... and yes, I am willing to die to make that happen. Welcome back SGT, the Army missed you.

I made the choice to remind her of why she loves me, even though she told me she was in love with someone else. I have 13 years in this marriage, a two year old son, and I was not going to allow some trailer trash POS take my wife from me. I didn't get violent, nor did I belittle her. I did however let her know that she was free to make her own decisions. And that included taking our son from me, divorcing me and going with POS. Well... after the newness has worn off... she still comes home to me every night. She still says 'I love you' and I can tell she means it. And I have never loved her more.

06-02-2008, 10:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
Russell Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 58	Re: Am I making the right decision? When do you know you've tried all that you can? I agree with Tor in one respect... if he is a good man, with no major problems such as drug abuse or is violent, maybe you should reconsider. Now... the reason I say this is because you just don't fall out of love. Love is eternal, and you will go to the grave with the love you have for your husband. Now, thats not to say that he hasn't given as much to you as you have to him. It sounds primarily like the two of you have lost an intimate connection... and that is communication. And if there is a 'someone else' involved then shame on you. My wife told me it was the 'newness' of it all after we calmed down after her affair and I started believeing her when she told him it was over. She absolutely devastated me. My son is my hero... I had the barrel in my mouth and my finger on the trigger and a round chambered. Then I heard him. And to tell you the truth... I'm still trying to find what little confidence I have left of all this. So there are ramifications to all this. In order to be fair to him you have to tell him that you feel like you love him but are no longer in love with him. You need to see if there is anything left of your relationship to salvage. You have to at least give him a chance to remind you of why you are in love with him, however bored you may be. Please don't make the same mistake my wife did. It almost killed me. By the way... its been three months... the date is below. Thats the day my life came crumblimg down. That was the day I chose to live life again... and stop living through a bottle. I was very tested through all of it though. Jane and I are still together, and we want to move out of state. We want away from her family, away from our current living conditions... and yes, I am willing to die to make that happen. Welcome back SGT, the Army missed you. I made the choice to remind her of why she loves me, even though she told me she was in love with someone else. I have 13 years in this marriage, a two year old son, and I was not going to allow some trailer trash POS take my wife from me. I didn't get violent, nor did I belittle her. I did however let her know that she was free to make her own decisions. And that included taking our son from me, divorcing me and going with POS. Well... after the newness has worn off... she still comes home to me every night. She still says 'I love you' and I can tell she means it. And I have never loved her more. __________________ Hi, my name is Russ, and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Sober since 27 March, 2008. Last edited by Russell; 06-02-2008 at 10:54 PM.