Originally Posted by deejov
Off to work out of town for 5 days, and I'm glad to go. It's so tense here all the time, and I can just work until I go to bed and not think and worry about things. Isn't that pitiful LOL
We went to a movie last night, we've done this before and it's just watching a movie, something to do. But I caved and let him hold my hand and cuddle. It just made me feel sad, that's all. I miss the affection, but I look at him and just remind myself that he isn't the one for me, he can't hold up his end of a relationship and I can't survive "well" without someone who does.
He hates being alone, that's just the biggest motivator for him for anything. Everyone assumes he hangs on and tells me not to leave because he cares for me. But reality is.. he just hates being alone. If I wasn't here, he'd be with someone. Anyone. To avoid an empty house.
I deserve more.
While this is painful to read - much less experience - it's a perfect illustration of the "observation" we talk so much about here. Once we drop "our idea" of what the relationship is, we can begin to gather evidence on what it ACTUALLY is.
Then you make a combination intellectual/emotional decision on whether it's enough.
This is just such a perfect example.
You could spin your wheels like this forever.