| | long term affair
I had a long term affair which I ended last year. It was nothing wrong with my marriage or my wife, I was simply a selfish ass, but I finally couldn't bear to hurt my W any more. Wish I'd had the strength to do that much sooner, but... too late for that wish.
Now that it is over I can see that most of what I thought I felt for OW was only effects of "the fog" as you call it. I was just getting an ego boost, I wasn't really in love with OW. I love my wife and I am making repairs in that department.
Now my problem here is that during the A the OW often told me she loved me and yes indeed I told her I loved her too. At some point I probably even used the words "I will always love you". In the fog I did not realize that I never really did to begin with. It seemed real at the time. But now I see reality, but OW still does not. She seems to still think I must love her and she expects that I will leave my wife for her (something I never, ever told her I would do, even before I ended the A; although she often suggested it).
OW sends me texts which I ignore. She harasses my wife, who tries to ignore her also. I do not want to contact OW for any reason but I don't know why she is so delusional after so long. I do not love her. Yes I lied to her, I lied to everybody, but I am with my wife, and she knows this. What do I do about OW?