| | need some support please!!
I've been here on TAM since the beginning of June. My first post was in "Considering D or Sep", then it moved to "going thru Separation."
Now I'm here. Please don't welcome me!!
So the wife is fully in the fog. she is lying to everyone. she is lost. I have hard evidence re EA. not sure, but PA is likely, though short lived. I am seeing a therapist at least 2 times a week for the past 3 weeks since I found the evidence, trying to both work on myself, and approach this constructively instead of destructively. W knows I suspect, as I told her. She does not know that I have evidence. At this point, she is even texting and phoning him- on our family plan. she is lost, and maybe wants to get caught.
As part of her separation from me, she is currently taking our 2 kids on a vacation to visit her mother. The OM is half way across the country. She is going thru some very dark emotional times, and I can see it rubbing off on the kids. This makes me extremely angry. she is neglecting the kids in her fog, and they are worse off for it.
I am trying my hardest not to go public with the information yet. On the advice of my IC, our MC, and for the fact that if it blows up, and I am not there for the kids, they will suffer.
But I am so d**m P****d off right now. she is lost in the fog, so as a human, I feel terrible for her, and I feel a certain amount of empathy for her pain. But she is treating everyone she contacts like a POS, lying to friends, family, the kids, and of course me.
I've got to hold it in for another week. I am working out alot, taking ownership of the house- painting the kid's bedroom, re-arranging furniture, possibly re-decorating a little. hanging out with friends, and talking with close family. working with IC.
I talk to the kids every day, they are tough, and will get thru another week.
At first, I wanted to reconcile, as I still believed in love, and for the kids. this is slipping, and I am beginning to doubt her ability to look at her actions. but I don't want to make any emotional decisions, especially before I can constructively approach this.
Please, I need support. not sure how, or in what form, but I am feeling scared, frustrated and angry. all normal, i realize, but I am close to blowing this up, and intellectually, I know that now is not the time. there is no rush.