no i would not leave her... but i think of it on occasion as im sure all married people have... maybe. im not sure im asking for help here just feels good to let things out. i do have other places that ive vented, friends and family. my one friend, when she complains to her mother about husband problems and such, her mother says to her first "how are things in the bedroom?". if they are ok then she says "well what are you complaining about, it cant be that big of a deal the two of you are still making love". very wise in my opinion. ive read that good sex is 10% of a relationship and bad sex is 90%. i try and look at things as if there was a physical problem (and there may be) that would prevent romance. still, i have a friend that is paralyzed from the shoulders down and he and his wife have sex at the least twice a week or so she says. so thats rather unpromising. even my mom at 65 is more sexually active than i am
i wish she would just say it to me "hey i dont like sex, never really did, only had sex with you, because it was new, and ill only have sex with you when im feeling very horny and only if you happen to be around during that 1 hour period" then i would fell like ok i can live with that. awhile back when an argument ensued over this, as it it often does when i bring it up. i made that comment to her similar to that and got the same old lines "why am i so insensitive... blah blah blah". ive used all the psycho babel techniques such as start your sentences with "this makes me feel...." etc. and it goes like this "always your feelings, what about mine". funny but as long as we stay off this subject everything is great. we have a modern relationship with few traditional roles. i am active in doing most of the house work she does the laundry. i do the cooking she gets the kids ready for school. i do the home work at night half the days she does the other half. both of us now work at jobs we enjoy. and the kids are all in school full time. we both take a day off mid week for ourselves and do things together like garden and go out for lunch and stuff, sometimes we just sit around all morning and drink coffee and talk. im telling you all that our marriage would be considered text book perfect except this stupid bedroom problem. we go on vacation together for at least one weekend per year without kids. and a romantic vacation at that. but never sex. i just dont try anymore, its too depressing getting turned down, or worse getting yelled at for trying.