jsyffor

My wife and I separated in Feb. 08 after two years of marriage, because she was having questions about our marriage. I felt the best thing to do was to give her space. Well, as it turns out, within a week of moving out another man swooped right in and swept her off her feet. This guy has been her friend since she was 6 yrs old and proposed to her a few weeks before I did, but I never know any of this until we split up. My wife would talk with this guy on the phone and through email even though I told her that it was wrong.

Now it has been 5 months since my wife and I separated and she wants to get back together. She is living with this guy right now, and wants to fix our marriage.

My main hesitation is that she has lied to me about her relationship with this guy. I caught her with him through snooping around her emails and phone calls. I can understand how she let things escalate with this guy...because we were separated, but she has lied to me about him and only confessed after I caught her.

Should I give her a second chance? To further complicate the issue I found out about her relationship with this guy when we were about to get back together. Obviously, once I found out about the relationship I backed off. Then she wanted to fix things and I gave her a second chance. She moved out of her apartment, moved in with me, and two weeks later ran off with this guy again. So, actually this will be a third chance, not a second chance.

My problem is this. I totally love her, and I know that she loves me. She is very confused, and has made a lot of horrible, hurtful decisions. I want to take a chance on her again, but I know that it is crazy. I am afraid she is not ready to fully commit to the marriage, which is why we had separated in the first place.

Please give me your perspective... Thanks.