confusedinmo

hi, I shared on this forum some time ago about my infidelity to the man I've been married to for seven years, and how I felt like I wasn't in love with him anymore. I was, and still do, feel terribly guilty, because I cheated more than once over a two year period with another man (a work acquaintance). At times during my infidelity, I did at least think in my own mind that I loved this man that I was with. He took care of me when I was away on trips, and that made me feel good. Anyway, I shared this confession with the group along with the resolution that I was not going to continue the relationship, that I was ending it, because I do love my husband. He is my best friend, and I am committed to trying to make it work. However, that has not diluted my feelings for this other person. I've been trying to work up the guts to cut completely my relationship with this other guy and as of yesterday I did it. Now, I feel horrible. I know it was the right thing to do, because I'll never be able to focus on my husband to salvage my marriage if there are any ties to this man. Still, I can tell by his reaction that I've hurt him, and I feel even more guilty. Nothing good has come from this relationship...I've betrayed my husband, I've disrespected myself and I've hurt a person whom I have also grown to care for and who I believe cares for me (however wrong the relationship was) I've lost a friend, and I don't have many to lose. I thought doing this would some how make me feel better, and help provide some relief of guilt, but it has only made me feel worse. Are there any words of encouragement? Are there any measures of grace for someone like me?