| | Re: I had an online affair .
I was deceptive, and I tried to deny anything was happening when everything started to come into the light.
The day after I confessed, I wrote the OM to tell him everything was over, and I, beyond all stupidity, got sucked into an extended conversation with him, during which he asked for a picture. I took one on my phone and emailed it to myself, and then photoshopped it on my computer, where I left it. My husband found the picture in my email and documents.
I was momentarily upset when I found out he put monitoring software on my computer (I found out because he left the installation up) because he did it while I was out thinking I wouldn't know, and I was hoping we could be completely open about everything. I actually think monitoring software is a great idea. I was upset because he did it behind my back. Wrong of me, I'm sure.
The other night, wee hours of the morning actually, we were arguing about the situation. During the argument, he said he needed physical connection. I reached over and held his hand. When he became upset, leaned above me and forcibly pulled down my pants, I panicked and pulled away from him, not knowing what he was about to do. Suddenly and forcibly pulling down my pants with no warning frightens me. I fully admit that comes from being raped and that it has a negative impact on my marriage.
I met the OM a little over a month ago, and it moved from emotional chatting to sexual chatting approximately 2 weeks ago. I have been long engaged in the game for several months now.
I'm sorry I didn't put all these things in my original post.