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Mr Blunt · 07-30-2012, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Quote of 1234
I also recently found out that she had some past relationships that were very abusive, borderline rape in my opinion. She didn’t give me a lot of details, honestly I don’t know if I want details, but she told me she’d never talked about it before. This along with a dysfunctional childhood is really making me worried. I don’t want to push her, but I have my needs and desires too. So what do I do? Am I wanting too much? Should I back off and just accept her and our love life the way they are? Should we get professional help? I can understand how she has issues with sex, but how can we overcome them? Bottom line, how can I help her become more open minded when it comes to sex, but be loving and supportive, while getting what I want and need? The last thing I want to do is force anything. Sex should be fun. What do I do? Thanks

Quote of LiveLaughLoveNow (LLLN)j
Just being able to tell my husband, and him not judge me, and still love me, and understand, and be gentle and help me re-learn things, and not pressure me with a certain thing that was a trigger, let me go at my own pace, but also research together ways to increase our intimacy etc, I was good after that, just listening was huge, the emotional connection was stronger, etc.

LLLN gave us a lot of encouragement. It is refreshing to know that some problems can be worked out by just the husband and wife. Just to cover all bases I would try to get a professional involved if you can.

Do everything you can to please her in non-sexual ways and everything else because you will both win and you may get more exciting sex. Remember your wife is trying and is to be admired. Your wife is not as experimental and sexually free as you but that is not because she resents you, in fact she loves you and o loves the sex you give her. You have a lot to be thankful for even if you do not get a 100% complete fulfilled sex life. Keep trying everything. If your wife’s situation is like LLLN then you will both win big time!