| | Please Help! I can't do this Anymore!I keep taking sleeping meds to deal! HELP
So Its been Almost 3 1/2 Months since I have been Away from my H up In Alaska where he is stationed. I have wrote a few Threads on here about whats all gone on. but, I'll tell you a Lil about it. So I did somethings on my part that put an effect on my marriage and so Has my H. He told me that we will cancel the D papers and Just Seprate and that mean while.. I'll go back to Washington and work on myself and the H will work on his issues. So we agreed. So I was going to stay in Washington Until mid Nov. thats when he is to Pcs to a new Duty Station.
well anyways so yah I came here and things was good. I was happy to know that my husband was going to give this another try you know I was on cloud 9 and i was doing good Until out of nowhere my H tells me we are done and can't do this anymore and all that Jazz.. Now I feel like I have been Just droped here! left alone.
I have wrote him several emails asking for him back and all that only to get stabbed in the end from his reply.
The H in one email says.. I know what you are saying and yes its hard for me too. and at night there are times I call out your name but, your not there...
what I have to say to that is WTF??? then ask me to come back =[ and he says in another that he still cares for me but , is not going to make this work .
I can't do nothing thro out the day that doesnt want me to just break down cause it makes me think of him... Shows... food ... music.. smells everything is memories and I feel as if im getting stabbed.
today I was making a piece of toast to see if that could settle in . mean while this show comes on and of course i think.. omg I watched that with my H =[ I can't do this .. I haven't talked to him in four days after I sent him a long email asking for him back and I got the No =[ I haven't gone that long without talking to him really there has alway been a lil email to him with have a good day or ect . So now there is nothing i am sending to him. I sit here and see him online and I say nothing =[
and now i am at the point I cant even deal with the day so I take sleeping meds and sleep and now that i am awake I just took more so i can pass out soon so I dont have to be up for this pain =[
and the papers are not even signed cause we agreed he would get the extra money from living off post and use that money to pay off debt. But, ues so is there any hope here?? Im scared ! this isn't supost to happen something doesnt feel right .