Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

justme880 · 09-18-2007, 04:57 PM

I'm so sorry you're having to go through the agony of separation. I've experienced something similar, so I can totally relate. I think at this point, you need to give him SPACE. He may or may not come back... but it's worth a shot. I've seen friends who have gone through breakups and are now married to their ex's with kids. Some with third parties even. I'm what you call the "eternal optimist". I believe there's always hope.

I don't think you should file for a divorce... it's too premature. If he wants to file for a divorce, let him gather the necessary documents and pay for the attorney's/paralegal fees, filing fees, etc. If you guys are meant to be, he will come back.

In the meantime, keep yourself busy. For example, take a class, learn how to play an instrument, spend time with your daughter and other family members, go out to lunch/dinner with a friend, and so forth. Find the time to reflect on the relationship and get to know yourself more. The last thing you want to do is to continue beating yourself up over this. We're all humans capable of making mistakes. Nobody is perfect! The bottom line is you make mistakes and you learn from them. And, please for your own self-preservation, do not call/email him because you will only drive him away more. Space is definitely what he needs. Give him time to assess the relationship, find himself, and let him miss you.

Good luck!

09-18-2007, 04:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
justme880 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Sunny California Posts: 5	Re: When to give up...pls help!!! I'm so sorry you're having to go through the agony of separation. I've experienced something similar, so I can totally relate. I think at this point, you need to give him SPACE. He may or may not come back... but it's worth a shot. I've seen friends who have gone through breakups and are now married to their ex's with kids. Some with third parties even. I'm what you call the "eternal optimist". I believe there's always hope. I don't think you should file for a divorce... it's too premature. If he wants to file for a divorce, let him gather the necessary documents and pay for the attorney's/paralegal fees, filing fees, etc. If you guys are meant to be, he will come back. In the meantime, keep yourself busy. For example, take a class, learn how to play an instrument, spend time with your daughter and other family members, go out to lunch/dinner with a friend, and so forth. Find the time to reflect on the relationship and get to know yourself more. The last thing you want to do is to continue beating yourself up over this. We're all humans capable of making mistakes. Nobody is perfect! The bottom line is you make mistakes and you learn from them. And, please for your own self-preservation, do not call/email him because you will only drive him away more. Space is definitely what he needs. Give him time to assess the relationship, find himself, and let him miss you. Good luck!