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Originally Posted by darnitall  What had me considering divorce was an incident at work in which she claimed she was being sexually harassed one day. So I emailed the guy and told him to keep his hands to himself and watch what he says to my wife cuz next time I would show up at her work. Well the email I got back just tore the life right out of me. He started off by insulting me calling me a dumb redneck, and then told me its not him I should be talking to its my wife. |
OK, you failed this test. If you make an ultimatum to a man telling him to back off or else, and he tells you to go to hell, then you need to escalate things. Otherwise, you've just proven yourself weaker than he may have imagined.
One of the most powerful deterrents to another man horning in on your wife is the possibility of you finding out and causing him great physical pain. By backing off, you removed that deterrent. Now, this guy doesn't need to worry about you finding out. He knows that you know and won't do anything.
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Originally Posted by darnitall He told me all the highly flirty and sexual things she had been saying to him and other guys. |
This shows that there's nothing wrong with your wife's sex drive. It's just not focused on you.
I think, regardless of what you would do, you should investigate your wife for the possibility of an affair. Check her phone records, email, and Facebook accounts. Put keylogger software on your home PC to see if she's using a separate email or Facebook account to use for an affair. Put a voice-activated recorder under the seat of her car to record any conversations she has. If she is having an affair, then you need to deal with that in addition to her lack of attraction.
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Originally Posted by darnitall I was ready for divorce but I dont want my son to have a broken family.
Sometimes I think its best to co exist be loving and supportive of her and hope for the best, if not Ill leave after my son graduates high school so it wont hurt him as bad. |
There are worse things than a broken family. Like having your son grow up seeing his mother treat his father like gum on her shoe. Your son deserves to respect his father. You should have a relationship with women that you want your son to emulate. Do you want your son to grow up and be begging for sex from his future wife? I don't.
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Originally Posted by darnitall I have countless more incidents like the above one, usually involving my wifes old f*ck buddies, in her words, contacting her via facebook. I dont believe she has ever cheated but it seems like she did have a high sex drive, just not with me anymore. |
If your wife hasn't cheated, it's because she hasn't had a convenient opportunity. Being attracted to her husband will keep a wife from cheating. Your wife isn't attracted to you. Respect for her husband will keep a wife from cheating. Your wife doesn't respect you. Fear of her husband will keep a women from cheating. Your wife doesn't fear you. And by fear, I mean that she fears you enforcing unpleasant consequences for disrespecting boundaries, not that she fears assault.
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Originally Posted by darnitall I have read many books about sex and got her to read one or two as well but she is unwilling to try anything in the books. just ranting now I guess |
You've read the wrong books. This isn't a problem with your sexual technique, or a problem with "connecting" with your wife emotionally. This is a lust problem. Your wife has none for you. You need to inspire some. To do that, you need to ignore what Oprah tells you inspires lust, take the red pill to women the way they actually are, and work from there.
Read No More Mister Nice Guy, and the Married Man Sex Life Primer for some great information.
Good luck.
