You say you love your wife, if she made an error in judgement, and was truly remorseful, could you really turn your back on all the history, all the good moments, the laughter, growth, and companionship that comes with a good relationship?
Personal opinion, YES it would destroy every moment of memory. From that moment on they would seem fake.
I also don't like that "error in judgement" expression. I feel it severely downplays the situation.
"OOOps honey i made an "error in judgement" and ripped your heart out and feed it to the dogs"
I understand the OP perfectly. And most of all, i know myself. There is no way in hell i would put me through the process of reconciliation. I would never waste my time like that.
I'm not big on the forgiveness thing. I actually don't do it. EVER... That goes for friends too. One strike, that's all. I find myself pretty happy in life this way.
Having said this, i understand people that do R. I know the appeal of that. Each to its own. Whatever makes people happy. For me i know i wouldn't ever be happy again with woman that betrayed me so i would never go that route.