Originally Posted by rkk
Thanks, I worked in food service 8 years and was a volunteer at the local law enforcement for 10 years.
I did tell my husband that if they do not like me I have a right to know why. I found a good article about men and nit picking and criticizing. I gave him the link. I think he read it. He was in a better mood. We will see. I just want to get things worked out. Neither of us has family close by. If he could get past nit picking at everything. It would be good. He is a perfectionist. He needs to learn to just not let some things bother him. Mental illness does run in his family.
When a problem crops up, it's a bit like this:
I'm Unhappy = MY problem.
He's Unhappy = HIS problem.
We're both unhappy = OUR problem.
You can choose to let his problems be his problems. If you get unhappy that he's unhappy, the problem gets bigger. Sometimes that can be a good thing, but in many cases it simply becomes a power struggle. If you can avoid taking it personally, it might defuse the situation for you, but he might let HIS problem grow.