| | He is always ANGRY
I have been married for less than 2 months, although we have been together for over 3 1/2 years. My husband has become so ANGRY all the time at me. I just dont know what to do. I am a disabled veterand and am unable to work, but that is not new - it was the same when we met. In fact, when we first started dating, he wasnt employed (he lived with his parents and didnt even have a car....mind you we are in our early 30's). He moved in with me after 6 months. For the first 1 1/2 years we were together, he didnt work and I supported us both. In October 2010, I ended the relationship because of his drinking - itt hadnt gotten so far out of control and he had gotten physical with me while drunk. We were apart for 3 months and he stopped drinking during that time. We really had been best friends and I missed him so I gave him another chance.
Last July, we moved to another state. I guess around November/December, he just changed. All of the sudden, he was treating me as if I was his employee and making me account for every minute of my day. He started putting me down and yelling at me, threatening to leave. He stopped wanting to have sex with me. In January, I caught him on dating websites and he was having phone/internet sex with different women. I was very angry but I decided to try to work through it. Two days later, he would get extremely upset if I even brought it up - he thought I should just forget about it. I finally got him to go to couple's therapy (we went 3 times) and then he decided we couldnt afford to go anymore. We got married in June.
The problem is: he can be so amazing for a few days or a couple of weeks or so - just like the man I fell in love with and then BAM!!! He screams and yells at me and puts me down for even the smallest thing. For example, I had to go to the emergency room this week and after I was released, he brought me home and then after about 20 minutes, he left me home alone and went over to a coworkers house to help work on her boat. He didnt come back for over 2 hours. Of course, I was upset. He did the same thing the next two nights. He is constantly doing all these things for other people and then starts a WAR when I ask where he is or why isnt he spending any time with me?
If I dont keep the house SPOTLESS at ALL times, or forget to do even one thing that he has decided I should do that day - he berates me and talks about how no one cares about him and everyone uses him and how he is just going to quit work and let me figure out how to pay the bills, etc.
He cannot see how he is acting and treating me - its only how I am lazy and he has to do everything, and no one cares about him and uses him, and how he never gets to have any fun and we never have any money...etc
I just dont know what to do anymore. I cannot handle being screamed and yelled at all the time and put down and berated. He even screamed and yelled at me this morning because our landlord came by while he was using the bathroom and I invited her in the house. Really? So no one can come in the house if he's going to the bathroom now???? When we are in public, he is always telling me "smile more", "talk more", "dont talk so much", "you're walking to slow", "why cant you get out of car faster", etc etc etc.
I cant take this anymore. I am so miserable.
Last edited by WannaRun; 08-11-2012 at 03:55 PM.
Reason: made easier to read