hitrockbottom

Russell..I wish it was that easy...
See I have bought her a Nice flower arrangement...roses and star gazer lillies....

I wrote her the sappy letter, and a quite emotional apology letter...

I have opened up about all my feelings..including the ones about this other guy...whom she still claims just being friends with and recently she has gone back to being friends and backed off from how she was.

But I am met with nothing in return. She is like a f@cking brick wall....I don't know how to act or react..

Last night I told her I was sorry if she felt that I made her uncomfortable. I also mentioned that we are NOT just friends that we are still married, and even if I was your friend you wouldn't treat me like this.

She is treating me the same way she has since she took her Wedding rings off....

I told her im happy and that I am working on my end of things. I asked her when she was going to put a little effort into it?(not so harshly...I said I have shared my feelings, every thing about me is on the table....when ever your ready I'm not going anywhere.)

I got silence the whole time...the only thing she openly talked to me about was when I asked her opinion on something in the AA book.


I still couldn't sleep last night....well I did for a little due Ambien(which gave me some...lets say Alice and Wonderland Dreams) But I was up and down still...

I helped her get stuff to the car..even after she said that there wasn't anything to carry then came out of the room w/4 bags....told her she looked Sexy...because DAMN SHE IS...told her I hate not feeling needed/wanted...that I haven't in a year which is part of why I started acting the way I did...she took it in but didn't say anything..

She left............then after awhile I was thinking that I might have acted a bit Mellow Dramatic so I sent her a message...told her I loved her, Missed her, and wish that you would let me back into your world, or at least give me that opportunity...I said it was lonely with out my beautiful wife...said be careful Diving and I would see her tonight...