Cooper

Your correct on several points Believer, but the main one is the fact that we are used to putting others first. There has only been a couple very shot periods in my life where someone wasn't depending on me. I don't believe that we have a lack of self respect for ourselves though. I believe we both realize we are more capable of handling burdens than others, be it physical or emotional. So we just keep on keeping on.
One of the difficulties I have coming to terms with a divorce is the pain I would inflict on others, including my wife. My kids would come from a broken home. My sisters daughter loves my wife I think more than she loves her own mother. My sister-in-law goes through men like socks, but I have always been a constant in her kids lives. I know this is wrong for me to state this but; am I willing to remain in this marriage at the price of my own happines so as not to cause unhappiness to others? Yes. Right or wrong I will keep trying to make things work for the sake of others.
Beliver I think you are a lot like me. The decision for you to separate must have been agonizing. Maybe your husband has caused you more pain than you could bare, I guess I'm just not there yet.
Please stay in touch, Cooper