hitrockbottom

Been doing some more thinking...which I believe is part of my problem.
When my wife met me I was carefree and outgoing...I didn't really over analyze stuff, as I do now. I need to figure out how to get back to that. Maybe counseling from a licensed Therapist would be better then from my pastor..I don't know. Therapist scare me...I feel awkward calling one up and being like Yeah...then I draw a blank on how to get stuff started.
Of course walking into that AA meeting for the first time wasn't the most comfortable thing, neither was maning up to my wife about my issues, which she thinks, in my opinion, I only told her to make her feel bad...like I was looking for a sympathy trip. I wasn't but she is still deeply hurt and timid around me...more time Its only really been two weeks since she found out about the infidelity, and a almost 2 months since she took her rings off....I wish things could be like they normally are..I keep living in past memories..

Enough rambling here is another note that I sent her today..

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you...
Thanks for talking more about stuff to me the last few days...you looked cute as hell on the Tramp the other day...I have always loved watching you with your boys, you get a certain glow about you...**** was fun bouncing your granny...I haven't done a flip in awhile..I'm proud that you've made it through your first quarter of classes...

I'm wanting to go camping w/my dad soon....I would like to bring the boys along..do you know if they have a sleeping bag?

and here is the Text I sent her:

I have to go out to the beach to drop off flyers for this weekend. THen I need to hit some up around the mall tonight or tomorrow.....if you need me or would like to join me hanging them up, Id enjoy that. I'll be bringing both long boards home...just let me know. Enjoy your class...lve U..

So am I being Invasive w/these letters/text?