Anna

I am a 57 year old female with two wonderful daughters who are professional, married to great men and each has one of my grandchildren. I am a certified residential real property appraiser and have been married for 22 years to a man who is also a CRA. This is not my first marriage, but it is the longest.

I am afraid because my husband is not straight with me. He lies about everything and hides behind his old mother who does the same. He is an only child. (The operative word there is "child").

Eight years ago he left me for a week. While he was gone, his parents, who lived next door felt as though it was appropriate to voice their opinions and they did so hurtfully. I looked for him for days. He had left bills unpaid for months, and when I found this to be the case, I paid them. When he finally came home, he said he was stressed and needed a cruise. Like an idiot, I booked a cruise. It was surreal and still is. I cannot believe I agreed to this. I sought professional help and still maintain this therapy.

Last year, he disappeared again for a couple of days. Left bills with me that had gone unpaid again. I paid them again.

This year, he has not shared important information with me and has lied about opening a P. O. Box at the P. O. He lied until he realized I wasn't buying the lies and gave in.

Note that the stories above are short sides of long stories that continue with the same neglect and irreverence.

It's been lies, deceit, disloyalty, abandonment. We have been in counseling with a therapist and a priest for years. He continues to behave in such a way as to not being believed.

I have lost respect for him and cannot fathom another day. I am older and have lost everything I have ever worked for because of his lies. The only thing I have left is my house which houses his mother as well. She is scheduled to move to a highrise in the next six months. I own this house outright. It was his parents' house originally.

Last week, while making a deposit at our bank, I found out that my husband had written over $3800 worth of insufficient checks, each being in exactly the same amount. It was unbelievable. He waited in the car while I walked into the bank, and when I was inside, knowing what I would find, he left me stranded. I was overwhelmed, but maintained some semblence of composure. I managed to gather enough money from friends and my daughters to cover the charges. I have closed the account and opened my own. I have repaid the money. I am over this idiot, and am in need of some serious advice as to how to proceed. I am searching for a full time job as I type this note.

Advice?