It's amazing how these things follow a script. You get waylaid by your spouse saying he needs space. It's not you, he just doesn't feel the same way anymore. If you could leave that would be great. Otherwise he will go someplace to figure himself out. There isn't anyone else as far a you know. You are in shock and heartbroken and willing to give him whatever he needs to get through this and get your family back together. Then you find out there was someone else all along, probably weeks before the big speech. It's likely too late to save your marriage. There probably was no saving it once the OW showed up anyway. This will take months before you feel worthy again and maybe years before you feel normal again. These spouses are just awful people and they think they are doing you a favor.