Originally Posted by iheartlife
Well, I think there are several definitions of an EA, or emotional affair.
One definition is, they haven't slept together. (Or, they haven't physically touched, or they've 'only' kissed, etc.--a sliding scale.)
Another one is, they're emotionally attached. As in, infatuated, as in, they think they're in love.
Now, I'm not saying someone couldn't be "in love" with two people at the same time, or maybe 3, but usually it doesn't work that way. That sensation is generally reserved for one person at a time. So, based on this 2nd definition, even though he's texting at a rate of 100's of texts per month, I would say no, this isn't an EA, this is him likely sexting / stringing along, in the hopes of getting laid, two girls at the same time. Perhaps an EA under the first definition (IF he hasn't slept with either one) but not under the second.
If you were able to read the texts, then it might change things. It might turn out that he's emotionally attached to one of them, and the other one is...chasing him and he isn't fighting her off very hard? A f*ck buddy / potential f*ck buddy? But still, usually when you're infatuated with someone, you think they hung the moon, and you start to exhibit loyalty to them.
Inappropriate relationships with more than one woman, especially at the same time, doesn't really sound like an EA to me, but it does sound like a serial cheater. And serial cheaters have serious issues. They just do. They are either narcissists who feel entitled to lots of attention from lots of women at the same time, or they lack self-love and need lots of validation from lots of women at the same time. Either way, they need a lot of therapy, and they aren't just going to "snap out of it."
Most people struggle mightily when they uncover an affair, if it's their spouse's "first" and they can be certain of it, because the $64,000 question is: are they ever going to do it again. Either break up with you for their AP, or find a new AP. Who knows??? Really, only time will tell. But you don't have this issue. So you get to skip ahead to, my spouse is almost surely a serial cheater, in which case, see the paragraph above.
As far as it not being physical, you really ought to tell us your reasoning. Not because we are curious (ok, we are), but because the people on this board have "heard it all," and may be in a better position to assess whether your theory holds water, or not.