confusedgirl1980

I recently took a break from my bf of 2 1/2 years, cause he has angry outbursts. I recored the last outburst on my hidden camera to show our anger managment therapist. My mom listened to the tape and told me she was dissapointed a would stand for that S**t.
My bf loves me very much, probably more than I love him. We both have our own set of problems and I suggested we work on them individually but he thinks otherwise and wants me back.
He's also diabetic at age 30 and is in complete denial and gets upset when I educated him one it.
He also gambles online with his friends (This is a source of his anger which he as "Promised" to stop).
So far he has "promised" to take better care of his health and see our anger managment lady on his own. (He listened to the tape and was very upset for treating me like that and was very sorry).
Me on the otherhand have ALWAYS worried about everything. I have so much anxiety and depression built up it makes me wonder about this relationship. We talk about marriage and kids and all i do is worry. He's Jewish and I'm Catholic that worries me too. We aren't totally compatable and that worries me too. I worry to the point that I can't make a decision about anything... relationships, career, goals etc.
But by bf has supported me and encouraged me and I love him for that. I feel we can make eachother better. I just don't know if I should give it a chance? A chance to continue planning our life together, we were saving for a house and a wedding?

cherishedby1

I see that you're new here so, welcome. You may be doing yourselves a great favor by taking a step back and looking into what changes you have inspired in each other. I don't doubt that you love each other and when love plus attraction is in gear you may find that you over look many attributes in each other that could be issues hard to deal with. In longer relationships these come to be more evident. Perhaps the time you've had this relationship is working that way? Don't regret or guilt yourselves for attempting to or giving up or spitting up or whatever, because you have helped each other in ways you have not realized yet. The counseling is key and I would advise each of you to dedicate plenty of time for it. If you can take counseling together, I would advise it, that will help you understand each others issues. If not agreeable then I hope you can share notes with each other so that you can encourage each other and understand each others issues. Counseling is not rehabilitation. It is a self-help tool. It works when you pick it up and apply it to yourself.
My wife was in her teens when her anxiety began to challenge her and she is doing better now, since counseling, in her opinion and mine as well.
I was a workaholic, having all my confidence resting on my successes in my job and how I could match-up to other men, predominately my dad. I channeled all my shortfalls inwardly. Blaming myself and had repeated thoughts of suicide and depression. Counseling has helped me with this and a few other issues that I've been facing in life.
I've been faced with not always having a good close trustworthy friend to go to for advice and encouragement outside of my faith based relationship with my creator. That is why I dealt with my issues inwardly. Before I met my dear wife, no one was there to encourage me and help me see what I was doing to myself on the inside.
Do you have any close friend, one that understands you better than you yourself?

confusedgirl1980

Other than a close bond with my mother I have friends that I have had for a long time but I have alienated myself from them as a consequence to the depression, I don't feel like talking or doing social things. My good friend who I moved away from 10 years ago but we remain close has been a good ear and has listened to nothing but my venting and complaining. I haven’t portrayed my bf in the best light to her and she thinks I can do better. But I still feel drawn to my BF especially if he worked out his problems. I want to believe him when he says he will change... presently I think he will but long term I worry he will fall back into old habits.
I wonder how normal it is... after you been with someone for a while and your difference and serious issues start to surface. Is it a normal process to doubt and tweak the relationship to work?
My mother and my friend disagree saying you can't fix something that was never made to work.
I don't want to use the excuse that I’m 30 and want to get married and have children cause the opportunity presented itself.
I think my anxiety is putting more pressure on me and creating too much fear. A fear of making a mistake and having regrets?
I really don't know who is more the problem... me or my BF. He thinks everything is fine minus a few obstacles that he is over coming... problem solved... I on the other hand feel like I’m sabotaging a potentialy good relationship cause of negative thinking and foreseeing problems.