frusterated

shane33 · 04-14-2008, 02:56 PM

my wife of 15 years and i recently split up she move to her own place with the kids and left me behind we are working on it but the problem is i want to talk about it and work it out but she won't talk about it she vents by wrighting things a journal i vent by talking things out. She says that whenever i bring our relationship up she feels too much pressure and says that it is driving her away from me so now what i decided to write things down in a book myself instead of talking about them we'll see what happens i just think she i bottleing things up and not getting them out in the air to clear. I recently just found out that she is blaming herself for alot of the problems we have well no frigin wonder she has so much resentment and hurt in her how do i get her to stop blaming herself its not her fault but if she believes that there is no way of convincing her otherwise is there? i can't believe she is blaming herself for this how do i get her to stop this thinking she refuses to have any feelings for me and now i know why she has to let go but how do i help her let go i am so confused help me please

draconis · 04-15-2008, 08:31 AM

One thing to do is to let her know from your end that you completely forgive her and are giving her a clean slate. If nothing else it will get you both past the stage of self blame and maybe onto the stage of actually fixing the problems.

draconis

Immortalone · 04-16-2008, 02:57 PM

One thing you could do is instead of writing in a personal journal maybe the two of you could write to each other. Seams she is more confrtable with not being face to face talking.

stav · 04-19-2008, 08:14 AM

Immortal is suggesting exactly what I was going to. Write her a letter...

A love letter... tell her everything you feel, everything you want for the two of you, how much you love her, how you don't want to lose her..

She obviously has difficulty discussing her feelings face to face... some counselling might help this... but perhaps encouraging her to write to you about her fears might get things started