muffins624

This past week has been very hard for my boyfriend and I. We have been together for about 4 years and just this past week things have changed.

First, he says he gets weird moments where he feels like he doesn't belong with me- like hes living someone else's life. They are very brief moments and then he is back to being normal and loving me 100%. Then he has been very anxious to the point where he has small anxiety attacks and thinks about everything that could go wrong in our relationship. I dont understand what hes going through at all..

A couple days ago he saw his doctor and talked to her about what he was feeling and he was prescribed anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. The only thing is- he doesnt want to take them because he claims hes not depressed and he thinks the pills wont work.

A couple days later we had a serious talk about what was going on. He told me he feels like he lost the connection we had together but at the same time hed change anything to make himself feel the way he did before; its like he cant control what hes feeling. He has been telling me countless times "all I want to do is love you" and its stressing him out that he cant feel that way. He was so anxious that we couldnt have sex because he couldnt get an erection. We both cried a lot that night and he had to keep reassuring me that he still loves me and that he is sorry. We are planning on getting married in a couple years so its definitely not that he wants to break up. I know he loves me but theres something in his mind that is changing him.
He went on to tell me its not just me he feels differently toward. He said he lost interest in a lot of hobbies he liked to do- like reading or playing video games.

He saw his doctor again today and suggested trying to relax more and seeing a therapist if he wanted to stop taking the pills. Im not sure if that will help or hurt him in the long run.

I know there has to be something wrong with him, and I think it might be depression- or a mild form of it. Another contributing factor is that his father passed away about a year ago at the end of July, and it could have triggered this abnormal behavior during this month.

I have come to understand when he tells me things that would normally make me sad that I shouldnt take it personally because I know how he truly feels about me. I am in this with him and I will support him 100%.

If you have any idea what this could be and have any advice relating to my post, please tell me. If you have any questions please leave them too.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
-Sarah

justean

my hubby had mood swings and aggressive tendencies - like a jekyll and hyde character. i do confess here that i have in the 13 yrs of being with him , had issues with his drinking. i still believe that this did not help and contributed to a deeper mood and aggression.
obviously we have had on of periods where he stopped drinking. he stopped for 6 months after his dad passed away.
6 years ago he lost his dad, yes he cried, but he lost his best friend. my hubby is 39 now. but he was a person that kept things to himself. drink was the relaxer.
i was always fine when it was in moderation, but in excess, well it was just a lonely existence on my behalf.
now getin onto your bit.
our whole family got together and said we could take no more, the aggression and short fuses were just getin worse. he treats his mum awful.
but eventually he agreed to see our g.p.
the dr diagnosed him with depression and my hubby was prescribed (citalopram). one a night. i promise you for 3 weeks i had the best husband and father. he was controlled. until the one night stand. but mixing these tablets and fuelled by 12 hrs of drinking was the cause, oh and simple influences of a mate. ( but that something else).- but on this instance he stopped drinking for 3 months.
but we are working through it.
he still takes his tablets. and they really do make a difference to our lives. n e of these tablets can cause a degree of other issues. on initial startup , my hubby was impotent because of the drug. ( we had never experienced this prob b 4 , so it came as a shock. but dont row, its comes with patience and time. just love eachother through it and you can get through it.

izz4u2mm

I agree with Justean. I was a drinker too at some time ago and I was depressed and very anxious due to overwhelming stress from work and traumatic experiences in the military. Yes the drinking started out as a relaxer or self medicating but led to abusing beer at first and in 1985 started to drink Vodka for the lack of smelling the liquor. I also used some street drugs but not heroin thank god and my dads advice since I was a kid. Finally turned myself in to the hospital 1996 for help. Then my wife started acting strange again as she did back in 1976 or so which was about her having an affair with a work chum but she will never admit to it. This combo does not help a person live a normal life anymore. She turned her back on me and left me to rot in hell. I am lucky to be alive today thank god for that one.
If you love him then take care of him and he has to be able to help himself too. Its a 2 sided street you know.
I hope things work out for you.
Manny

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Hi my name is Manny and I am a recovering alcoholic and drug user since Sept 10, 1986.