Don't Know Where To Turn

blyjette · 08-16-2008, 08:39 PM

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years, we have 2 beautiful children together... I love him very much but I am getting to a point where I can not go on with things as they are.

My husband is currently unemployed and has been for a month, he hasn't put in any applications and any time someone mentions a job that he could apply for, he has an excuse. Prior to being laid off, he worked for three months, before that he was laid off by another place and he worked there 4 months. He was unemployed for 3 months before putting in apps. In the last 5 years that we've been a couple he has been laid off of every job he's had... and that's only been 4 jobs, never working for longer than 9 months or so.

Our children and 3 and 1, so obvisiously we need money coming in. I don't mind getting a job but I refuse to go to college, take care of the kids, work, AND do chores if I am married. There is no reason for it. I can not leave the 2 kids with him because he simply will not watch them close enough and yells at our 3 yr old son more than he should.

We have been through a marriage class, a Christian marriage class, renewed our vows, prayed, and nearly anything that I can think of... I do not know where to turn. I DO love him but I will NOT put up with doing it all, if I'm not a single mother!

It seems like every 4 or 5 months it comes back to me being at my wits-end about things, not knowing where to turn, and seeking outside advice... I can not go on living like this, it's not healthy for my children or myself. I am 24yrs old and he is 34yrs old... I thought being with an older man ment that he was more mature, but I have since found out that it's not always the case.

He does have a background of drug and alcohol abuse and has a felony and no drivers licesnse, but we have family that is willing to drive him around and such, and there are a ton of people out there with felonies that still get jobs and hold them. I understand that todays job market is not the greatest but he has NO chance of finding a job if he doesn't apply. I can not make him do it, he is an adult and has to make his own decisions... I have tried talking to him but it just doesn't seem to do any good. Please, any advice would be appricated!

Blanca · 08-16-2008, 08:51 PM

I dont have a lot of experience with that sort of thing but I would recommend that you go to alanon meetings. Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen It will help you establish stability for yourself and your children amongst this chaos.

draconis · 08-17-2008, 04:23 AM

blyjette ~ I understand your frustration at the situation at hand. A felon with prior use of alcohol and drugs does not stand out as a good role model or a dependable guy. It seems you are doing everything you can for your family, mean while he is only working 40% of the time and adds nothing to the household.

What can we do here to help you?

draconis