Husband sharing my email messages with others and mocking me

Isis · 03-31-2009, 08:51 PM

My husband and I own a business together. We have around 40 employees, most of them female. I suggested that since we have a 3-day weekend coming up that we take a little getaway trip w/ our daughter for some needed family time. I emailed some options to him at work one day when I was working from home excited to share my ideas. He responded "they all sound gay". I was hurt and frustrated even though I assumed that he was probably joking. I responded "no problem then, I'll go ahead with some plans for just her and I since it sounds like you don't want to go". He responded that he was only kidding and would like to go. Therefore, I made all arrangements and excitedly shared them with him and our daughter. The next day at work, I heard from two of our female employees that they "felt sorry for me" and had READ my message. They said he had been joking about my email and they defended me and said he should be grateful for having a loving wife, all the while they seemed to find it humorous too. I was humiliated and hurt but laughed it off in front of them. I decided to tell him to forget about the trip, he was off the hook. He responded that he really wanted to go and was cutting up with his staff. Now tonight, I tried to explain to him that I didn't appreciate him sharing personal email messages from me and also was hurt by being mocked behind my back. He became defensive and said "I'm sick of being in trouble all of the time" and walked away. It's extremely rare for me to be angry at him so I don't know where that came from other than being defensive. I really don't know where to go from here so any advice would be appreciated!

marina72 · 03-31-2009, 10:58 PM

what he did was rude, inappropriate and very childish. You had every right to be upset, and embarrassed.

I would just make sure not to ever email him at work again. Just call him next time, or talk about it at home. don't give him the opportunity to mock you in front of his co-workers...

And I'd also sit him down and have a chat with him, about being a grown up, and not showing your private emails to people like he's a 5th grader showing his buddies a note from a girl and snickering ....

Blanca · 04-01-2009, 08:07 PM

wow im so sorry. that was so mean. Why did he say he was always in trouble? usually when my H tries to bring up how he's feeling when im trying to talk about how im feeling, i'll tell him that we can talk about how he's feeling after we talk about how im feeling. that seems to work.

i think you should definitely back off emotionally from him until he apologizes.