Chris123

Hello all,
My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 6 years now. In December she finally moved in with me(I moved to another city and she followed by moving in). Things were a little rocky before she moved in but now they are in full swing. To me, the root of all problems is respect. It feels like she has none for me. When she gets upset she will try and hurt me(verbally) any and every way she can. We have talked about it many a time but it still persists. She seems to have some sort of anxiety or panic disorder problem because she will randomly burst out into anger towards me. I used to just hold it in but it's to the point where I can no longer sit there while she screams and curses at me. For example(today), she asks me why I didn't get intimate with her this morning. My response was I didn't take you putting an arm around me while I'm sleeping as an attempt for sex. Her response, "Well you must just be a F$%$%$%$ fag then." Who would say that to the person they supposedly love? She finished the conversation by saying she will call me a homo, gay, fag until I have sex with her again.

There is plenty more going on that I consider a respect issue. Just to name a few: she doesn't help around the house at all(cleaning, cooking, laundry, nothing...not saying I want her to do everything but 50/50 between us would be nice), she doesn't help out with the bills, she has an "anger episode" daily. Honestly, she has been more of a burden than anything. I love her to death but if she can't even live a basic life with me then how can there be a future with real issues(family, houses, cars, etc.)?

I'm not the only one she has "pushed away" like this. She did it to her mom(when she lived with her), her dad(when she lived with him), and all previous boyfriends. I don't want this relationship to be another to add to the list but I'm at my end. I am completely out of ideas on how to deal with this/her.

kyredchick

First I want to start by staying that I am a person who deals with an anxiety/panic disorder daily and this doesn't resemeble any problems I have had...but that does mean that isn't what it is. Has your gf ever seen a doctor for this matter. To me is sounds more like a bipolar disorder they often have extreme ups and downs and can change rapidly. I would suggest you talk with her and have her make an appointment to see her family physican. Hope that helps!

draconis

Well said a general MD can point her in the right direction if she is unwilling to seek help you need to move on and find someone worthy of all you are willing to do in a relationship and never stop helping around the house it is a good thing you help with cooking and cleaning you just shouldn't have to do it all.

draconis

swedish

I have had anxiety/panic attacks and for me they are related to feeling out of control and make me physically start to shake & feel very nervous. I've never felt angry or verbally abusive, but I don't know much about this. It sounds to me that she has some underlying unhappiness that she needs to bring to the surface and talk to someone about...whether from when she was young or past relationships, she seems to be holding a lot of anger. I'm surprised you've stuck with this for 6 years...I don't think I could last a day with that type of disrespect and verbal abuse.