The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 78 (permalink) Old 09-26-2011, 04:17 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Originally Posted by TimeHeals View Post
Vulnerable to what exactly? Taking her husband for granted?

From what she described, she has pretty sound boundaries regarding male friendships on that social networking site.

No male BFFs that she is busily sharing her deepest thoughts with into the wee hours of the night, so what is she supposed to be vulnerable to doing?
First - to clarify - I don't know her story. Said above "not meaning to pick on you..." Speaking in general terms.

If your marriage can be overtaken by fake farming, its vulnerable to a lot of different things.

Or - even if you spend more time talking to family or girlfriends - on facebook - it could be an issue if your H (or wife) feels they aren't getting enough quality time with their spouse.

A spouse with too much free time who is feeling a bit neglected is not a good thing.

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post #17 of 78 (permalink) Old 09-26-2011, 04:19 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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That's great.

I was really, truly just sitting here, wondering how people used to have affairs in the "old" days! Back when you had to either use the "home phone" to call people, or even leave the house to talk to other people. Must have been a lot more work!

But the time suck you referred to above should be a big red flag on its own that there might be issues. If you'd rather play farmville than spend time with hubby, you are vulnerable - right?
I had an affair in the "old days" lolll it was very easy.


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They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #18 of 78 (permalink) Old 09-26-2011, 04:22 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I had an affair in the "old days" lolll it was very easy.
You should write a book!

But of course no one would believe you!!!
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post #19 of 78 (permalink) Old 09-29-2011, 01:20 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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NG, I agree. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with social networking sites (obviously... AHEM... tam...). However, there must be boundaries and, IMO, transparency. Do I tell my husband my every move before I make it? Of course not. But it's all open for him to see whenever he wants.

In terms of facebook specifically, I completely agree that it can open you up to certain things if you aren't guarded. I had two different instances in my short lived time on facebook. In one instance, a guy from high school friended me. He sent me a pm that was totally inappropriate. I told my hubby about it and blocked him. Another guy friended me and did the same. I told him that my husband was sitting right there reading what he'd just written to me. He went through the roof as though I'd betrayed HIM by sharing a message with my husband.

I don't think that's the norm with facebook but it happens. Boundaries have to be in place. We make it a point each evening to put up our phones and computers to spend time together. Otherwise, like you say, hubby would be bonding with phone games while I ban people on TAM (Just kidding--maybe ).
So - ummm...whatcha wearin?

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post #20 of 78 (permalink) Old 09-29-2011, 08:20 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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such a pot stirrer!
And you are obviously nothing but a tease!

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post #21 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-02-2011, 07:55 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

With recent events, my wife and i have been having some problems. And I notice she is on FB alot lately. So I decided to check out her profile and all of a sudden she has recently adden 6 guys as "friends"

Am I suspicous? yes. So I asked who some of the names were. Talk about defensive.

We were talking untill I asked why if she claims to be dedicated to working things out is she all of a sudden connecting with new guys.

I have a FB page but its only to see what is going on behind my back. call me paranoid, but just cause your paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.

This hurts.
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post #22 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-02-2011, 10:30 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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With recent events, my wife and i have been having some problems. And I notice she is on FB alot lately. So I decided to check out her profile and all of a sudden she has recently adden 6 guys as "friends"

Am I suspicous? yes. So I asked who some of the names were. Talk about defensive.

We were talking untill I asked why if she claims to be dedicated to working things out is she all of a sudden connecting with new guys.

I have a FB page but its only to see what is going on behind my back. call me paranoid, but just cause your paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.

This hurts.
I'm friends with a lot of women myself and I can truly say that I've "behaved." But I still look back and see FB as the beginning of the end. The end may have come anyway - but I still think FB made it all much easier.
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post #23 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-03-2011, 06:18 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I'm friends with a lot of women myself and I can truly say that I've "behaved." But I still look back and see FB as the beginning of the end. The end may have come anyway - but I still think FB made it all much easier.
I know one thing, FB sure doesn't help.
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post #24 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 12:33 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Its a baaad, baaad place!
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post #25 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 12:54 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Yes it is, and you can say that AGAIN!

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post #26 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 12:57 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

I love Facebook.

I chat with my girl friends before our husbands get home.

We chat while we're cooking dinner (before hubs get home).

We vent about our whiny kids! LOL

I post pics of my kids for my mom and family and friends to see.

Facebook is what you make it. The program isn't bad, some the users just misuse it.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #27 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 01:36 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Its kind of like saying - "Guns don't kill people - people kill people."

Yes - but if I - as a person - wanted to kill someone - I would likely look for a gun.
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post #28 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 01:50 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Yes - but if I - as a person - wanted to kill someone - I would likely look for a gun.
I work part time in a gun store. But I do agree with you and why does That Girl get on Facebook while her h is not home? My wife told me to stay off her facebook page so I locked it out of our computer. Now no one gets to go on it which is fine by be.

Give a man a match and he will be warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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post #29 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 01:54 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I work part time in a gun store. But I do agree with you and why does That Girl get on Facebook while her h is not home? My wife told me to stay off her facebook page so I locked it out of our computer. Now no one gets to go on it which is fine by be.

Give a man a match and he will be warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.


Oooh I'm on facebook when my husband isn't home! OH EFFNG NO!

It's because I am cleaning, helping with homework and dealing with my household so I can take a few breaks to chat with friends about our day and our kids, what's for dinner, etc.

When our husbands get home, we devote our time to them, NOT the computer or other people. I serve him dinner (he gets home around 8pm) and we talk and hang out. (I used to be on the computer when he got home and it was lame. We said NO computer/games when the other is home unless the other is ok with it and/or busy with something else). If he wanted to see my page, I don't give a crap. It's just how I connect with my friends (who are all out of state). Moms need to talk to other moms for our own sanity. To me, it's no different than my mom who would be on the phone with the neighbor before the husbands got home. They would chat and cook and clean...whatever. Then dad would get home and the phone was hung up. Big deal. Women talk.


Stop being so god damn suspicious of everyone. Holy shet.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.

Last edited by that_girl; 10-11-2011 at 02:01 PM.
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post #30 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 02:09 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Moms need to talk to other moms for our own sanity. To me, it's no different than my mom who would be on the phone with the neighbor before the husbands got home. They would chat and cook and clean...whatever. Then dad would get home and the phone was hung up. Big deal. Women talk.
Yeah - and then - later - when dad was home and the phone rang - and he'd pick it up - and they would hang up...just like they did the last three nights. Dad thought it was weird - but he had a lot on his mind - and Mom was still in her nightgown. What could she be doing wrong?

And then it would ring again - and mom would take the chord and stretch it into the corner - and whisper under her breath for about a minute. And you - the innocent child - would ask who she was talking to - and she'd stammer out some LIE about AUNT Ruth. "BUT Mom - there IS no AUNT RUTH!"

And it least one of these "mom" friends has a hard-working man who had to stay late one night this week. After she got off from chatting with you - she clicked on the profile of some old unemployed friend from college that she KNEW had the hots for her. She started chatting - dropping hints about being bored and needing adventure! But now - Mom doesn't have to lie about some fake Aunt that WE ALL knew didn't even exist. Mom's just "on facebook."

Except THEN Mom hits the "Alt-tab" keys and pops over to some video chat thing that she has going on the side! No chords to stretch now - MOM'S WIRELESS! She can even take her phone into a public BATHROOM and play - ON CAM! WITH FIVE GUYS AT ONCE!

Whew!

Just a possible example of course. Even though 50% of marriages end in divorce - I'm sure all of OUR friends will be just fine!!!
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