The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 02:25 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Actually no.

One of my friends has an awesome husband and she's pregnant with baby #4.

Another friend has a cheating husband...so I lend my ear for her to vent.

Another friend is just fun to chat with about our kids. Her husband is usually home when we're chatting but he's studying to be a mortician so he's busy.

Sorry you have cheating spouses, but I'm not one of them. Stop making everything seem so shady. F8ck.

I don't give a crap what my friends do what they aren't chatting with me. I can't control them. I only control myself. Please don't insinuate that I use FB to cheat.



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post #32 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 02:47 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
Actually no.

One of my friends has an awesome husband and she's pregnant with baby #4.

Another friend has a cheating husband...so I lend my ear for her to vent.

Another friend is just fun to chat with about our kids. Her husband is usually home when we're chatting but he's studying to be a mortician so he's busy.

Sorry you have cheating spouses, but I'm not one of them. Stop making everything seem so shady. F8ck.

I don't give a crap what my friends do what they aren't chatting with me. I can't control them. I only control myself. Please don't insinuate that I use FB to cheat.
Sorry - got a bit carried away.

Never meant to insinuate anything about you personally.

And of course I don't know your GF's.

But its easy to get jaded sometimes. When 50% of marriages end in divorce - when you come here and realize how common it is for a marriage of 15+ years to go down the toilet - its easy to get jaded.

My parents never cheated - that I'm aware of. My mother died at 53 - so they were able to actually do the "til death do you part" thing. So - until I was 39 - cheating and divorce were about as real as Star Wars in MY little world. They were things you saw in movies - or that happened to "other" people.

Again - sorry if my little rant offended anyone - just blowing off steam. Thought I made it crazy enough - and I'm truly hoping no one actually has an imaginary "Aunt Ruthie"!
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post #33 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 03:00 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

My parents divorced. No cheating though. My bio dad was a druggy. My stepdad was ok...my mom is just very nutso. lollll.

I understand how people can get jaded...I just don't like people questioning why I'm on FB when my husband isn't home. Wtf? Like I'm doing something dirty. lollll I have nothing to hide. If you knew my friends, you'd say they're good women. We don't even talk about our husbands. They've never heard me say a bad word about him-- ever. Not even through our separation.

What I'm saying is this--- one's situation not ALL situations. To read into something innocent will cause problems in every future relationship one has.

For those who have been cheated on, I am truly sorry for the struggle you are going through. I can't even imagine and I'm sorry you feel the way you do.

But please know there are good women/men in the world that do not use FB to cheat, etc. Just because your spouse did, doesn't mean ALL spouses do.

Would I mind if my husband went on my FB? No. I'd wonder why he'd want to as he's never been interested before. It would be out of character for him so I'd wonder why the "no trust" all of a sudden.

And I think the "no trust" issue is way bigger than FB.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #34 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 03:02 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

50% of marriages end in divorce, yes. But not all divorces are because of cheating.


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They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #35 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 03:05 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

tg - two "quick" responses

I know there are plenty of honest people on FB as I (so far) have been one of them.

And #2 - not all marriages which involve cheating end in divorce...just something else to chew on.
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post #36 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 03:10 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Also, moms do need to talk/vent about their days. There are things husbands do not want to hear or care about. Other moms "get it" and it's better than always *****ing to our men lol.

My husband is at work all day talking to other adults.

I am at work all day talking to children. Then I go home and talk to children. I need my girl friends...I don't go out with them, as they live in other states, we just chat after work.


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post #37 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-11-2011, 03:11 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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tg - two "quick" responses

I know there are plenty of honest people on FB as I (so far) have been one of them.

And #2 - not all marriages which involve cheating end in divorce...just something else to chew on.
Ya. So...cheating is cheating. Doesn't mean divorce. gotcha.


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They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #38 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-14-2011, 06:57 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

I have always been way more addicted to anonymous forums- of all differnt subjects. Facebook is very boring in comparison-for me. Everyone is so guarded to what they post -as to not offend generally , so many sunshine & rainbow posts, and endless scripture quotations on mine anyway.

I look for the posts that are a little more out of the box to add a comment.

I'd rather go where people say it like it is, let it all hang out, find some controversy to sink my teeth into, even if we don't know who we are tallking too, it is way more interesting !
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post #39 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-14-2011, 08:08 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I have always been way more addicted to anonymous forums- of all differnt subjects. Facebook is very boring in comparison-for me. Everyone is so guarded to what they post -as to not offend generally , so many sunshine & rainbow posts, and endless scripture quotations on mine anyway.

I look for the posts that are a little more out of the box to add a comment.

I'd rather go where people say it like it is, let it all hang out, find some controversy to sink my teeth into, even if we don't know who we are tallking too, it is way more interesting !
I've been leaning on FB a lot more as the divorce looms closer. I try not to get too serious - and I also don't rant about my divorce or my STBX.

I'll see a scripture quote once in a while - but its mostly song lyrics and quotes from movies on my page!

And - of course - pics of everyone's kids!

But that's part of the problem - part of why it seems so harmless. There's also that little chat button!
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post #40 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-23-2011, 08:24 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

I've used facebook for so much goodness it's not even funny. It's a wonderful tool if you use it properly. I have never even considered using it as a cheating tool. My husband has FB and we're "friends" but he's not very into it. For a social monster like me, it's like candy. I enjoy stalking people randomly and seeing what they choose to post about themselves.

NG why are we not Facebook friends?! That_girl, you too! Why oh why have I not had the honor of stalking both of you yet?

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post #41 of 78 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 08:47 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I've used facebook for so much goodness it's not even funny. It's a wonderful tool if you use it properly. I have never even considered using it as a cheating tool. My husband has FB and we're "friends" but he's not very into it. For a social monster like me, it's like candy. I enjoy stalking people randomly and seeing what they choose to post about themselves.

NG why are we not Facebook friends?! That_girl, you too! Why oh why have I not had the honor of stalking both of you yet?
I'm married - and apparently not supposed to talk to women...




“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin
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post #42 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 09:01 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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It wasn't the people I was connecting with (no EA's, exes, etc...just female friends) but it was the TIME SUCK that Facebook caused. I was addicted. It was crazy.
Yep!! If you look at my thread in the Addiction board, you will see my problem is based mostly on the time spent on Facebook. Which, by the way, he is still on as we speak!

Facebook is clearly the NUMBER ONE REASON FOR DIVORCE IN THIS COUNTRY TODAY!
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post #43 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 03:11 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

I doubt that FB is the main cause of divorce.

It all depends on how couples use it. TG and I don't do anything on FB that we would have to hide from our hubbies.
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post #44 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 03:32 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Face Book is finding its self in a lot of on line divorce filing. I have watched friends of mine "break up" on fb and seen the nasty fall out all out there for everyone to see.

I hate that people act like it is real life and take every comment made as a jab at them. I have seen so many comment fights between friends it is stupid.

Face Book has created another form of zombie. I notice the cell phone zombies everywhere in a crowded room, dancing, shopping, and anywhere else, all with real live people right there and they are on their phone most likely updating fb about how much fun they are having or who they are with or whatever. Really??? there are breathing people right next to you to talk to so put down your dang phone!!!!!

I do facebook and actually check it daily. It has replaced my email as a means to talk with distant relitives that are out of state or country when calling just is not an option.
I think it is about boundaries as far as keeping it from blasting your relationship apart and thoes that use it to boost their self up in the eyes of others "I have great car, tons of friends, go to amazing places." or whatever all I can say is your bathroom mirrior pictures are so annoying. Hand the camera over to someone else please. (or at least clean your bathroom up first)
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post #45 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 06:45 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
I have always been way more addicted to anonymous forums- of all differnt subjects. Facebook is very boring in comparison-for me. Everyone is so guarded to what they post -as to not offend generally , so many sunshine & rainbow posts, and endless scripture quotations on mine anyway.

I look for the posts that are a little more out of the box to add a comment.

I'd rather go where people say it like it is, let it all hang out, find some controversy to sink my teeth into, even if we don't know who we are tallking too, it is way more interesting !
True, and TAM could very easily become a problem for me ... it occupies my mind a lot even when I'm not here, and getting in the way of brain cycles I should be spending at work. It's been great for the homelife, but I can see that it can become a drain on other things. Time for me to evaulate and regulate carefully ...
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