The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships? - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 07:58 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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post #47 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 09:12 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Originally Posted by FirstYearDown View Post
I doubt that FB is the main cause of divorce.

It all depends on how couples use it. TG and I don't do anything on FB that we would have to hide from our hubbies.
OK...so not to split hairs...Facebook is the "Market Leader" in divorce for lawyers in this country today.

Facebook a top cause of relationship trouble, say US lawyers | Technology | The Guardian
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post #48 of 78 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 11:05 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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True, and TAM could very easily become a problem for me ... it occupies my mind a lot even when I'm not here, and getting in the way of brain cycles I should be spending at work. It's been great for the homelife, but I can see that it can become a drain on other things. Time for me to evaulate and regulate carefully ...
Ha ha , I am glad I am not the only one, Probably good I don't have an important Job. I've noticed even on an exciting (jam packed) family vacation, like Disney world.... I would be thinking ....hmmmm gotta check TAM - like I was having withdrawl , and literally had to hop online & check the latest questions here late at night....when I should be sleeping. Kinda silly when you think about it.

I've always had an addicting personality to certain things. Never drank, smoke, gambled or been a compulsive shopper anyway.... I do happen to see this as more harmless, but we can all get addicted to something, can't we!? Forums and anything amorous seems to be my biggest hangups.

For a time, I was somewhat of an Ebay fanatic -that cost me more $$, this has helped me keep more in my pocket anyhow...


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post #49 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 03:58 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Amen!! To facebook being the number 1 cause of divorce!
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post #50 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 04:06 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

have yall seen the latest news story about potential employers asking job interviewees for their facebook passwords glad i dont facebook sounds a little orwellian to me
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post #51 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 06:49 PM
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have yall seen the latest news story about potential employers asking job interviewees for their facebook passwords glad i dont facebook sounds a little orwellian to me
Have heard about this - but I don't see how that is legal - given that prospective employers can't ask direct questions about age, political affiliations, religion, etc, etc...

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post #52 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 08:10 PM
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If your marriage can be overtaken by fake farming, its vulnerable to a lot of different things.
Apart from the lack of accountability Facebook tends to provide people with the feeling of these days (with people tending to feel entitled to say whatever they want about whomever and expect not to be held responsible- cyber bullying especially being my main issue), this is my other big issue caused by Facebook addiction. People who are able bodied are playing things like farmville... why not get out and grow a REAL garden?? No space? No problem! There has got to be a community project garden needing someone to tend to it somewhere.
Too much emphasis and time placed into being online when the real world is out there.
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post #53 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 08:22 PM
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Although in saying that, i would MUCH prefer it if people disregard that advice in regards to mafia wars...keep that online
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post #54 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-31-2012, 10:07 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

Facebook - iPhones - they make it easier to conceal inappropriate behaviors - especially when one spouse is willing to take advantage of the other's trust

Agree, agree, agree!!! We (H & I) don't do FB, and never will. We have cell phones, that are PHONES. If my 'friends' want to communicate with me, there's a phone (home & cell) and email. If they don't have the info to contact me through them, then they're really not my 'friends' anyway.

Something that's sad to me........going to a restaurant, or anywhere for that matter, and seeing a family where they each have & are on their own iphone - yes they're in that location together, but in every essence of the word, they're not TOGETHER. These devices, social networks, etc., are ruining the 'personal' side of relationships.

Since FB, the divorce rate has escalated immensely.

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post #55 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-31-2012, 09:11 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

I still maintain that a device or social media website, can only ruin a marriage if the couple allows it.

I got rid of my Blackberry because it was too expensive and I was hooked on it. When my husband comes home in the evening or when we are hanging out together, I come off the computer out of respect for him. He politely asked me to pay more attention when he is home and wanting to interact with me, which is completely reasonable.

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post #56 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-31-2012, 11:20 PM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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I still maintain that a device or social media website, can only ruin a marriage if the couple allows it.

I got rid of my Blackberry because it was too expensive and I was hooked on it. When my husband comes home in the evening or when we are hanging out together, I come off the computer out of respect for him. He politely asked me to pay more attention when he is home and wanting to interact with me, which is completely reasonable.
Of course one of the parties allow it-or it wouldn't be skyrocketing to the top of the divorce reasons.
The main problem is the offending spouse replaces the other with Facebook. Whether innocent or not, the time and attention paid to that damn computer and the neglect of the other-they begin to resent every time the spouse sits down.
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post #57 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2012, 10:11 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Sorry - not meaning to pick on you personally - but that's a big part of the problem with FB.

One day, a guy comes along - and it only takes one guy - who catches your interest. Then, you spend the same amount of time chatting, but just less time with the girls. And to your Hubby - it all looks the same.

Facebook - iPhones - they make it easier to conceal inappropriate behaviors - especially when one spouse is willing to take advantage of the other's trust.
I'm going to have to disagree with the sentiment I think I hear. Technology makes new ways to communicate and do so more efficiently, but it does not change who a person is. If a person was needing to conceal inappropriate behavior, he/she would find a way to do it.
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post #58 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2012, 10:15 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Of course one of the parties allow it-or it wouldn't be skyrocketing to the top of the divorce reasons.
First, let me challenge this assertion. I think this is becoming one of those lines that gets repeated often enough that people begin to accept it without justification. I'd like to see something of substance behind this assertion, and discuss whether or not this is even so, and whether or not any studies with such a conclusion were appropriately conducted.

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The main problem is the offending spouse replaces the other with Facebook. Whether innocent or not, the time and attention paid to that damn computer and the neglect of the other-they begin to resent every time the spouse sits down.
I can see how this might happen, but this is not unique to computers or social networking. Like everything else, it takes open and honest communication with your spouse, and a willingness on the part of both people to correct when one spouse begins to get off balance in priorities and amount of time spent on a hobby or other social activity vs. amount of time spent with family/spouse. What do you think?
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post #59 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2012, 10:16 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Since FB, the divorce rate has escalated immensely.
Once again, I'm going to have to challenge these types of assertions. Do you have anything behind this assertion? If so, please put it out so we can discuss it. I see this thrown around a LOT, and I've seen no backing.
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post #60 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2012, 10:23 AM
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Re: The Facebook Fuss - Frustrated Friendships?

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Apart from the lack of accountability Facebook tends to provide people with the feeling of these days (with people tending to feel entitled to say whatever they want about whomever and expect not to be held responsible- cyber bullying especially being my main issue), this is my other big issue caused by Facebook addiction. People who are able bodied are playing things like farmville... why not get out and grow a REAL garden?? No space? No problem! There has got to be a community project garden needing someone to tend to it somewhere.
Too much emphasis and time placed into being online when the real world is out there.
I will assert that online and real-world are not mutually exclusive. You like to plant a garden, so plant a garden. But does everybody need to plant a garden? My wife and I love to hike and camp, so we do just that. Does that mean everybody needs to hike and camp? What about our skiing? Kite-surfing? Other hobbies we have?

But then on facebook, I find a group of military guys with my old military skill who are about to get out of the military, and they are very concerned about how their skills may translate in the civilian world. They want advice on building soft skills to be successful in interviews, and tips from people who have already been there about what skills they need to build, and where they need to build them in order to be able to have a relevant job in the civilian world and thus be able to support their families when they get out. Several of us saw this as a real need, and we recognize the comeradery we had when we were in the military. We wanted to offer help to these younger guys who have the same concerns we had. We started a closed facebook group specifically for this help exchange. We have over 200 members there currently, and we share everything from job fair information to interview tips. I assert that this is participating on facebook in the real world, and giving real help to someone who needs it. Should everyone do that? No, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that these technologies are what you make of them, and you can make use of them for real-world helpful activities.
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