Originally Posted by alone_not_lonely View Post
No, of course no one NEEDS to do anything like that
It just irks me that these things are such a time suck, and people who might get so much enjoyment out of the real thing, spend it in front of a computer screen... for. hours. on. end.
Of course Facebook only provides these time wasters to people, and I do recognise that it is what people make of it. By no means (as I said, I find that FB leaves people feeling like they can take no blame or reponsibility for a lot of things) am I saying that it is the fault of a social media site that these people spend hours on it- their choice entirely, they can log off anytime. The invention of the internet has led to many wonderful things, I just don't see FB as one of the top priorities on that list. It is disappointing to think that the virtual world is taking so much away from reality.
And yes, what you are providing people with is helpful, no question about that. But it also could have possibly been done on another media, so you're not getting any kudos directed to Facebook from me yet
You guys take the cake for that.
In saying that I do recognise what good can come of it, I see so many more things I don't like come from it. I don't like they way they track your info, I don't like the way privacy laws are overhauled every 5 seconds. I don't like the way people I have no wish to contact are able to contact me. I also don't like the fact that things I would like to use or participate in are becoming harder to use or cannot be used if you are not signed in to Facebook. But I don't like or agree with it, so I just don't have an account anymore. Easy
That, of course, doesn't mean that nobody else can.
Although I have been defending facebook (and still do), I have an observation about electronic media in general that can make it a problem. I think this may be some of what happened to your friends.
It seems to me that there is an emotional connection that we have when we are face to face that raises some inhibitions that are there for smooth social interaction. I think voice must carry some of these emotions that bring up inhibitions, but not quite to the level of being face to face. I've noticed that many of these inhibitions are lowered when we are communicating across electronic media where there is neither voice, nor vocal interaction. I think it's something we have to be aware of about ourselves.
Even back to ICQ, which was an IM program that my kids and I first started this electronic communication with, I noticed a difference in communication with some people. I had to step in on a couple of conversations wtih my daughters back in those days because people became what we thought was verbally abusive. I don't think people would talk like this face to face because there is the concern that someone is going to flatten their nose all over their face if they did. I think recognizing this tendency is the first step both with the sender and the receiver in dealing with it. Even on here, I think I can usually deal with someone when they become emotional. It's a new communication skill that we have to learn. It's not actually new, it's just something that some people have to deal with regularly in face to face meetings, and others much more rarely, so for those that have to deal with it much more rarely, perhaps it is more difficult.
There is also the fact that facial expressions, voice intonation, and other non-verbal cues that we normally give in person are not present in text. I notice my boss has a greater tendency to get his feelings hurt in email communication than he does face to face. I've had to adjust my method of communicating over email in order to deal with this. He doesn't seem to hear the voice tone I'm writing with like he can when he hears me speaking it.
However; the team I work on is literally worldwide. The engagements I am involved with are currently in France, Korea, Mexico, and the US. There is no way I can conduct all of this face to face, so electronic communication is a must. Therefore, to be successful on this, I need to learn the extra skill to communicate via electronic media. When a person gets this skill, and recognizes the dropping of inhibition of the other party, and can deal with that, then electronic communication is very effective, but a person needs to recognize it and be able to deal with it.
Facebook is just another electronic media. It is a great tool for communication. People need a new communication skill to be able to use it effectively and be able to maintain healthy relationships.
A lot of the stories about maintaining and selling personal information are exaggerated. However; with more and more businesses offering cloud or web based applications, more companies are making use of one of the existing identity verification services. The three that are most commonly used right now are Live; Facebook, and Google. The websites make a call with the login information you give them and verify your account. It's not to verify you really are who you say you are - it's just an account verification like a login to a computer. So someone needs to know those credentials to be able to access the account you create on that site. By using those id services, they don't have to store passwords, etc. or create a new verification process for every application. They just redirect to an existing service, make sure the credential passed are valid, and if the service says they are, the app associates that connection with the account and allows the appropriate access. This actually reduces the number of vectors of account attack. If you don't like facebook, then create a live or hotmail account and create a passport account when you create them, then you can use that for almost anyplace that needs a web login.
Facebook and other electronic media do not give a person exercise. But as I see it, they are really no different than sitting down and playing a game of Sudoku (Something I do until I love to hate it). I don't play games on facebook, but I can't claim to be above it because I spend the time playing Sudoku, or coming to TAM for that matter and bantering with faceless people here. But I also recognize the needs of my physical body, and I get up and workout. It's a matter of keeping everything in balance. I agree people should do that.