Grandma issues - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2016, 08:54 PM Thread Starter
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Grandma issues

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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2016, 11:49 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

Because she wants to.
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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2016, 11:50 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

How far is not very far.

How old are you and your boyfriend?

How old is your daughter.

She wants to charge you for gas because she has to spend money on gas and auto wear & tear when she drives to and from school. She's absolutely correct to ask you and boyfriend to cover the cost. You should be giving her at least $.54 per mile to cover gas and wear & tear on her vehicle.

Why do you think that you should not cover her expenses for taking care of your child?
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 08:54 AM
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Re: Grandma issues

What does your boyfriend think? Would he be willing to pay? Does he think you should?
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 08:57 AM
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Re: Grandma issues

Just fork it over and be thankful that you have grandma to babysit. It's still cheaper than hiring a baby sitter or day care. And you can trust her.
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 03:50 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

If Grandma is tight for cash then it's understandable.

If she's got a comfortable nest egg and she's just being a tight wad when it comes to providing for her grandchildren, it's just sad.

Either way the problems are hers.

Don't make them yours.
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:00 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Originally Posted by Manchester View Post
If Grandma is tight for cash then it's understandable.

If she's got a comfortable nest egg and she's just being a tight wad when it comes to providing for her grandchildren, it's just sad.

Either way the problems are hers.

Don't make them yours.
What? Grandma is driving her own car to pick up OP’s kid. How is it grandma’s problem? She’s doing a favor for the OP just picking the kid up and babysitting for free. Why should she absorb the cost of transporting the OP’s child?
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:16 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Why should she absorb the cost of transporting the OP’s child?
Because she's the children's grandmother.

She's not obligated of course, but it's not out of the question that she'd help out without asking for cash.

I did a search.

Seems to be a debateable issue:

http://www.grandparents.com/family-a...or-babysitting

When we asked Grandparents.com members whether they thought parents should pay them for their babysitting services, we received some passionate responses. There's a huge difference, many of you pointed out, between doing occasional date-night sitting and providing what amounts to no-cost daily daycare. And while many of you agreed that caring for a child on a regular basis warranted a paycheck, others said that they could never accept money from their kids. Check out what your fellow grandparents had to say:
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:17 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

This sense on entitlement you have - why do you have it? If someone is doing you a favor you should be OFFERING to pay them for gas. NOT b!tching when they tell you that you have to pay it.

Lemme guess - you're one of these MILLENIALS.
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:32 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

You know, this is one of my huge pet peeves. Sure, if you're the grandparent, babysit for free if you want to. But for the parents to EXPECT it is what really gets me. NO ONE should EXPECT a grandparent to do ANYthing for free just because they're a grandparent. I don't care HOW rich they are. The expectation of this is becoming rampant. I am far more likely to pay for something or do it for free if my daughter ASKS me and OFFERS TO PAY than if she just EXPECTS it.

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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:32 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Originally Posted by cj48060 View Post
So my boyfriend of six years, mother wants to charge us for picking up our daughter from school for gas when its not even that far from her house. And she is already going to be watching her for a few hours until i get out of work. Now she doesn't charge us for babysitting when we work only when we have date nights or errands to run which i am grateful for. But if she already going to be watching her why charge for picking her up?

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Another way to look at it is you are getting free, safe, reliable child care, so why not pay Grandma for gas as a token gesture of gratitude?

.
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:34 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Originally Posted by cj48060 View Post
So my boyfriend of six years, mother wants to charge us for picking up our daughter from school for gas when its not even that far from her house. And she is already going to be watching her for a few hours until i get out of work. Now she doesn't charge us for babysitting when we work only when we have date nights or errands to run which i am grateful for. But if she already going to be watching her why charge for picking her up?

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Seriously?

She is giving freely of her TIME...which IMO, is the most valuable thing she has. She is saving you a substantial amount of money in child care -likely the ONLY reason it pencils out for you and your BF to both work....Being grateful is the Minimum you should be doing.

Fill her tank...Buy her next set of tires....buy some groceries for her house.....Do ALL this and you STILL be saving money over child care.

I hope you didn't offend her or your BF by already bringing your ridiculous argument up...Please say you didn't do that...

Alt-Right
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 04:50 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

I don't know, it's weird but I can see my mom do the same thing. Gas money is one of those universal things that I guess that some feel entitled to be paid back for. It's great that your mom watches your kids without asking for money. I wish we had that when the kids were growing up. The SAHM thing just didn't work for us and killed us financially. At this point I would be more than content keeping things that way they are.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 05:23 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Gas money is one of those universal things that I guess that some feel entitled to be paid back for.
Can you even see how arrogant and pompous this statement is??
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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2016, 05:30 PM
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Re: Grandma issues

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Can you even see how arrogant and pompous this statement is??
No I don't see that...how can that possibly be arrogant and pompous?? Wanting to be paid back for gas?? really?? that's arrogant??

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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