Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-19-2015, 04:36 AM
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Re: Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage?

Thank you for the article!

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-26-2016, 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted by jesssmart View Post
Thank you for the article!

Honestly, our two kids have mainly been a pain, or more specifically the years until they got at least 5. I want to throw up when people say "ohhhh, they grow so fast", or "they are so wonderful".

It really kills off sex life. It kills the work outs, you cannot sleep well. Then all the F-int parents that cone for every f*%# birth day, which it seems to be too many of.

All it takes to get ED for a week is to hear another crying kid.

Anyways, maybe this is too much doom&igloos, but I don't see tons of men that come stronger out of fatherhood. After 5 years of this Hell man is dying off.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-26-2016, 06:59 AM
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Re: Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage?

Kids suck the life out of you, but in 15 to 20 years, you may be eligible for parole, and start to reintegrate into society - with or without your spouse.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-26-2016, 08:45 AM
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Re: Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage?

No one ever tells you what kids do to your marriage. They all act like it's a lovely storybook. It's not. It is hell.

My firstborn was a girl. Having her was a joy. I was so happy to be pregant after trying for three years. I had so much expectations and then........she came. I swear the kid came out judging me. When the nurse showed her to me, the girl looked into my soul and found me lacking. I was scared of her. Still am.

But she was perfect. The perfect baby, so well behaved. We took her everywhere we went. We went to dinner with her and she was quite and just watched everyone. She is an observer. She set us up really well by lying to us with all that perfection.

Because then the boy came. Lord help us for the next five years. If only I knew what was in store for us. It was hell. He slept the first six months on my chest. I slept in a different room with him for the first year of his life. All he did was cry and get sick. We were always at the doctor. We had sex once every six months. Giving birth to that boy messed up my body so badly. I was in pain for three years. No one ever talks about what giving birth does to your body.

We barely survived that boy. How we did it? I dont know. All I know is that it seemed like a bad dream and I am so happy it's over with. The only reason I kept the kid was because I love him so much. Otherwise, I would have happily given him to someone.

that boy was a terror and now he is a pain in my but* every day.

So dont bring kids in a shaky marriage. Because even in a strong marriage it would rock your foundation and leave it on shaky grounds.
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-26-2016, 10:53 AM
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Re: Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage?

A friend of mine has the catch phrase "babies ruin lives".

I've seen it too many times. Some couples certainly are happy when they have a child, but most of the ones I know ended up considerably less happy. They of course hide it - its socially unacceptable to say "I wish I had never had kids", but I've been told that by several people in confidence.

The most common problem is couples who think that their lives will be the same, except with children. Children change everything.
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post #21 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-26-2016, 02:51 PM
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Re: Will Having Kids Ruin Your Marriage?

Agree - our marriage certainly took a turn when the kids arrived (us having kids was different from most, without going into details). After the kids arrived, especially around the time they were a year old, stress went up exponentially. I've recounted the details way too much here - suffice to say things aren't the same. It's to the point that I don't like the wife going with us when I take the kids somewhere.
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