I'll agree that Having children can put a monkey wrench into many marriages...Though in our marriage...struggling to conceive them - was the
...that hurt us more so. Just another perspective here....
Due to our wanting/ planning/ desiring children early on...then after our 1st son...struggling with 6 + yrs of infertility... many tests, pokes, crying on his shoulder, clomid, a surgery...and a near in vitro attempt...
For us...our children has been the greatest of blessings...we can see it no other way.... they fulfill our lives...and we can't imagine them not in it... After all that time TRYING (our hardest years).....it was like the Heavens opened upon us...... so likely our experience in the DESERT
itself has affected our outlook in this...
Though I did make the mistake of being so Over Joyed for these little blessings once they started coming (we had another 5 in 9 yrs)
...that I put Dad on the back burner / the man who helped me get them...our Time and enjoyment seemed to revolve around THEM
....doing for them, it was always "Family vacations
"....what will the kids enjoy...his only complaint was ... he wanted more sex
(very common isn't it!@#$)....but he stuffed it .....while there I was.. putting the babies in bed with us....sometimes the others crashed on our bedroom floor....."Grand central station" it was...and he let me do it!@#$ ...both of us needed shaked ....
So yeah...we've lived & learned on this one... and hopefully wives will not be as mindless as I was ...they should be holding onto DAD in bed... not kissing the babies....
My husband LOVED, thrived on being a DAD though...
SarahSchmermund said: More often the wife may first explain how detached and irresponsible her husband is, how he doesn’t help out around the house or really understand how hard it is to take care of the kids, and how he’s no longer affectionate or loving with her.
The husband may then retort back with how nitpicky or controlling his wife is, how he does help out around the house but it’s never good enough, how she never lets him have a break, and how she is no longer affectionate or loving with him, either. There is then often some more back-and-forth complete with interrupting, some eye rolling, or a even gesture to me followed by a “Do you see what I’m dealing with here?”
This is one thing we never dealt with ....never had fights over Me feeling he wasn't doing enough... he told me early on ...I could have as many as I wanted ...so long as I took care of them.. meaning not expecting him to get up in the middle of the night & start complaining how much work they are.. .which I held my end of that bargain...always feeling they were life's greatest gifts... counted it all a Joy
...and if I even dared start thinking otherwise.... I would remember the desert yrs
-and a rush of Gratitude
would slap me in the face...
I look upon raising Children similar to the message contained in this book >> The Giving Tree
.... it is a story of Unconditional Love...Giving to them ...to enrich their lives...encouraging their friendships, helping them reach their dreams as they grow....
This makes us Happy (we are the
)....we are only here for a season
in their lives.. .to love, nurture, and prepare them for this big bad world... so they have wings to fly on their own....and it all goes too fast!!
We will miss these yrs... wishing for them back someday... so may we hold them tight, and kiss them as we live NOW.
But too.... Remember ourselves, keep the ROMANCE alive
...this we have come full circle.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a happy Home where they feel the love of their parents towards each other, seeing up close & personal how they work towards every goal hand in hand, with communication ever flowing, laughter along the way....this gives them a great sense of security...and hope for their own marriages someday.