I Don't Want A Divorce, She Does
Hello all....hope everyone had a nice Christmas.
My wife and I have been married for 7-1/2 yrs. Together for 10yrs. We have 3 children (6,4, and 2). I really don't know where to begin as things I'm finding out now, I didn't know before. We used to argue a lot. I haven't always been so easy to communicate with. I've always loved my wife, never cheated on her or even wanted to, never hit her, never degraded her. I've never called her names either. But, most of the times we argued I'd raise my voice /yell. If i felt something wasnt right, or if there was no clear answer, I'd hold a grudge about it. Usually, it was financial stuff, but sometimes I'd get an attitude from her or she'd get one from me and an arguement would soon follow. This year has been especially bad because it wasn't until April that she told me how she was really feeling. She told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. All summer, I worked at fixing the things within myself that bothered her. In that time, she became consumed with social networking websites. It all began with myspace, then facebook, then YoVille, then Poker (not for real money), then Tagged. She was (and still is) talking to so many different people (men). Soon, instant messaging turned into text messaging which turned into phone conversations.........many of them. We talked about working things out and I did a lot. The one thing that I slacked off on was affection. It was hard to be affectionate when I knew she continued on with this social networking behavior. I'm no angel, folks. I accepted responsibility for the things I've done (and didn't do) that upset her. She says she doesn't want to try anymore, doesn't want to stay. I'm devastated. I haven't argued with her since April. I've listened to everything she has had to say. I've done practically everything she wanted me to do. I feel so hopeless. I've had failed relationship in the past and thought THAT hurt. But, I never really knew what true love felt like until the day I realized I was in love with my wife. When we married, I felt like a king. I know I cannot change her free will. For all intense purposes, based off of everything she said to me, I know its over....regardless of what I've done to prevent it. I guess I just needed a way to let it all out. A part of me still wants to try to find a way to salvage this. Its hard to combat " I don't want to try anymore, I don't want to stay, I'm not in love with you"