01-07-2010, 02:05 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
| | Re: My Husband talked bad about me today.
I am in a similar situation with my wife. However, the insult was to my face, but in front of other people. She said she didn't mean it the way she said it, but I cannot for the life of me think of any other way it could mean than just "mean".
Sometimes you have a fight with your spouse and say mean things in the heat of the moment. However, It has always been my belief that you support your spouse in public, even if you might not agree. Keep your mouth shut if nothing else.
I was looking for a word to describe my feelings and I think "betrayed" is as good as any. Once you are betrayed then there is no trust there. What is he saying when you don't overhear? What is he doing when you are not watching? (e.g. moving money from your joint account to his own personal account)
I agree with Blanca that you should ask yourself if what is being said is true. Or at least can someone *interpret* it so? Maybe you do not see it so, but *can* someone *interpret* it so? I had (have) a problem that I get really excited when I discuss things I am interested in and come across as aggressive. I do not feel aggressive, I just want to make my point. However, multiple people have said they *interpret* my actions as aggressive. So, I worked on changing *my* behavior so people would not interpret it as aggressive. You *must* be honest with yourself at the very least.
On the other hand, if the trust is gone, then the relationship is gone, too. If you fell like you cannot rebuild that trust, then you have to do something.