Husband keeps bringing up Divorce

seeking sanity · 02-02-2010, 12:11 PM

D8zed - why do you choose to stay in the marriage?

D8zed · 02-02-2010, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeking sanity

D8zed - why do you choose to stay in the marriage?

First, I apologize to the OP - I didn't intend to hijack your thread. I will answer ss's question and then leave the thread for replies to sdk.

Why do I stay? Two reasons: (1) Children of course. I would have left already if not for them. (2) I am a wuss and I hate hurting people and I avoid conflict.

My wife is a 'controller'. I am not allowed to have my own thoughts and feelings. In her world, all the marriage problems, including lack of sex, have been caused by me. I have been labeled a psycho sociopath, a narcissist, a depressed unhappy person, and a slimeball.

As Patricia Evans (author of Controlling People) puts it, I have been erased.

seeking sanity · 02-02-2010, 12:51 PM

I'd encourage you to reclaim control of your happiness. Do you really want to have lived an entire life in this situation?

turnera · 02-02-2010, 01:16 PM

There's a great book called The Dance of Anger - quick read, AWESOME information on how to stand up for yourself and stop being a doormat. I highly recommend it.