First of all you must figure out what your rights are, can you try counscelling as a last effort, are there children involved?
Financially you will have to figure out how to split houses/cars, bank accounts and so forth.....
who will live where........
a lot to think about.....
good luck
A lot depends on what you got going on. My husband moved out on the spur of the moment. Not a good plan. Left behind 2 children, all financial responsibility, etc. If you have no kids, no joint bills, just go. Can you not get an appt on your own? If you have kids and joint bills, you need to talk to your wife and plan. Don't leave her high and dry on a whim. If you have none of the above responsibilities and are concerned about approaching your wife after leaving, get law enforcement involved to escort you to remove your belongings. If you have all of the above involved, you gotta go see a divorce attorney, period. What's yours is hers, and what's hers is yours. Don't leave your children and don't leave your joint bills. Take care!
Ok some serious problems I believe:
1) She has a quick temper that i am tired of, throwing things, hitting me, telling me I am a looser and that my mother didn't do anything with her life, all these things are really bothering me now.
2) NO sex.. I think in the past 4 months we had sex maybe 4 times....
3) I have really strong desire now to cheat on her, so instead of cheating on her I think it is appropriate to leave her rather than do things behind her back, I think honesty is important..
Unless she wants to go to counceling.. I think that may be my last straw.... I mean the sex thing is really bothering me and her anger problems.. I am only human and a guy and I already have a strong sex drive in the first place and she has no sex drive what so ever.. She has always been like that.. but we atleast had it... now it's like never...
I have no kids with her and we do have joint accounts and everything.. but if I move out the only extra cost will be the rent expense...
None of those are valid reasons for leaving your wife. You can be the adult in the room and show proper boundaries for her mistreatment of you (leave the room, stay calm, say nothing, etc.), so that, like a kid, she learns it won't work to get a rise out of you, and will stop. You can make sure you are doing nothing that upsets her and make sure you meet all her needs so that she is happy to be with you, so that she will WANT to have SF with you. And you can be an adult and admit that looking for another woman is no solution to the issues you have.
If I leave the room while she is in one of her moods she will probably break and throw all my stuff. Is it worth the risk? I can try and leave the room but what if what I said happens what to do then. Say" it is ok hunny" that you trashed my desk, broke my computer, and ripped up important business client information.
OK what about my issue with have a strong desire to cheat on her... what to do about that? I mean she really disapoints me when she gets upset the way she does and hits me and comes after me with a very large kitchen knife like she is ready to kill me.. These are the things that make me want to cheat on her.
NOTHING anyone does warrants you cheating. NOTHING. If you want to divorce her, divorce her. But don't do something lower than even her behavior.
Basically, what I see is a man who won't stand up to a spoiled child, and thus the spoiled child rules the roost. Stop accepting her abusive behavior, act like an adult yourself, and get off your butt and get some concrete steps from a professional on how to deal with her.
None of those are valid reasons for leaving your wife. You can be the adult in the room and show proper boundaries for her mistreatment of you (leave the room, stay calm, say nothing, etc.), so that, like a kid, she learns it won't work to get a rise out of you, and will stop. You can make sure you are doing nothing that upsets her and make sure you meet all her needs so that she is happy to be with you, so that she will WANT to have SF with you. And you can be an adult and admit that looking for another woman is no solution to the issues you have.
Are you saying that abuse is not a valid reason to leave someone?
I'm sorry, I don't believe that a woman hitting a man in anger is tantamount to abuse. Unless she's bigger than him and he can't walk away. He can just leave when she aims at him. In fact, that's what experts say to do - just leave the room when someone acts like a 12 year old.
I'm sorry, I don't believe that a woman hitting a man in anger is tantamount to abuse. Unless she's bigger than him and he can't walk away. He can just leave when she aims at him. In fact, that's what experts say to do - just leave the room when someone acts like a 12 year old.
So what would you say if the roles were reversed and she was being hit?
I don't think it matters who is being abusive in a household, abuse is abuse. If she is hitting you, get out and get an apartment. Talk to her after you are out and tell her she needs to see a counselor and an anger management specialist before you will even think about coming back.
Help with leaving
