My husband has no respect for me. He never listens to anything I have to say. He does what he wants and never takes my feelings into consideration. He has bought about 6 cars behind my back among countless other things. He has done nothing but put us into more financial debt (we are in the process of filing for bankruptcy).
Every time that he does something without my knowledge, it hurts like he just stabbed me in the back. The feeling of betrayal is enormous. There's no trust in our relationship. He blames me for his spending habits (a new car just about every year we've been married, that's 8 years). He buys tickets for trips even after I've said no. He'll buy it and then let me know. I'm so tired of it all. There have been on numerous occasions where I've cried and begged him not to buy another car and it has no effect on him. The next day, the car is in the driveway. I feel that he no longer loves me. When you love someone, you don't want to do things that you know will cause them pain. And he doesn't care.I have stayed with him through it all. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. The stress is getting to my health. I can no longer sleep and worst of all I've been getting these really painful headaches, that usually escalate into migraines.
I've made an appt. to go to marriage couseling, but last night he told me, he's going to be in Florida and will not be able to make it. Once again this trip to Florida was done behind my back (his father and sister live there). So basically he doesn't want to go to couseling and would rather see our marriage fall apart. I cried myself to sleep and woke up with a huge migraine. Despite how bad he is, I really love him. He was my first real relationship. My first love.Its so hard to let him go even though I know he no longer cares for me. It's as if I'd rather stay with him and have him hurt me over and over again, than live a life without him.
It's as if I'd rather stay with him and have him hurt me over and over again, than live a life without him.
About the most frightening thing anyone has written on this board.
Forget him, get help for you.
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Why are you married to such a jerk? Are you just free sex for him?
Time to learn to respect yourself more. Skip the marriage counselor and go to a psychologist to find out why you have such low self-respect and self-esteem.
Well, you love him for a reason...I'm sure your standards are high and that your love is justified in some way. However, he has a problem. People who cannot care for themselves cannot fully care for another person, much less be a successful spouse. I agree, get help for yourself and hopefully a good counselor can help you decide if you can stay or if you must leave. Maybe he will even join you. But do go for yourself, at least. Best wishes.
Thank you all for your advice. Despite how he is, he really has a lot of good qualities that I love. I want to do everything I can to save our marriage before I consider divorce. We have a 4 year old daughter who absolutely adores her father. So I have to consider what divorce is going to do to her. We are in the process of getting counseling.
Do you have access to the bank account? Every time he spends money for something, go to the bank and take out an equal amount of money, and put it in a savings account. Just keep saving it up; you may want it some day to start a new life. If you stay with him, you've kept him from spending that much money, and you can pay for college for your daughter.
I know exactly how you feel, my husband treats me the same way. He has no respect for me doesn't listen to anything I say and he also has to file for bankruptcy because of all te mistakes he has made due to spending, we have no money we were supposed to be saving money for a house but he spends his money as fast as he makes it. How is your counseling going? Have you ever thought about a trial seperation? My husband is also my first real love and although I know I don't deserve to be treated this way, I just wish he would come back to me, because it hurts so much. I just seperated from him, it took alot of guts but I knew it had to be done. But you have to think wouldn't you be happier alone, because at least you'd have your self respect, instead of being miserable with him, because you deserve to be treated with respect and equality. My husband used to blame me for everything to, its their hold on you. Best of luck to you and remember do whats best for you.
Husband does everything behind my back
