So depressed so so sad............
I know i must leave him, i did it before and i know i am strong enough to do it again. It's just killing me knowing that i have to move back in with my mom & dad and we just dont get along but i have too.
And here is what lead to this decision i know that has to be made: Me & my husband have been married for 13 yrs now and back in 06 i finally got the balls to leave him i was shocked but i finally left after many years of abuse both mind and physical it was horrible sometimes i would have to hide from family & friends for at least 2 weeks to let the bruises fade, busted lip, black eyes etc. I know, why did i stay with him so long right? But after many years of that i left him and i did it, i made it all by myself with no help from him with our 5 kids no child support nothing, not 1 damn penny for 2 1/2 yrs i did it all by myself i paid my rent, truck, my bills, bought groceries and still had enough to buy my kids all the nessities and luxuries they needed and wanted i had a great job. I filed for divorce but he never signed so whatever then everything changed my kids said something to me that broke my heart. My 11 yr old @ that time (he is 12 now) told me that when he would go 2 church with his aunt & uncle he & his little brother who was 7 would pray & ask for prayers that their daddy & mommy would get back together so we could all be happy......god what could i do so after several months of thinking this through i told myself that i had to stop thinking about myself & put my children in front & to put their needs ahead of my own & so i did..so last march 2009 i got back with my husband and things were great for a couple of weeks in october things started to get real bad and yes, he has already hit me twice again, he tells me that i am a discustin ***** and he looks at me up & down and tells me that he hopes i leave soon.. It hurts me so much when he says that to me but if i can hold on for another couple of weeks we filed our taxes and he has promised to give me half which is 6,000.00 just for me & our kids, he is keeping only 3000.00 who cares right but its breakin my heart cause i know the only ones that are gonna be hurt in this are our kids..... God give me strentgh.... I plan on moving in with my mom & dad but they dont know yet i just hope that i can find a job soon my truck is paid off which is a big help and no help from that s.o.b. But i know my life and our kids are gonna be so much happier right???? Am i making the right decision here? Or am i being selfish again? Someone please help me and give me some advice...
What would you do????????
|
Re: So depressed so so sad............
Re: So depressed so so sad............
