Separating or just setting me up for divorce

catlady · 04-14-2008, 07:54 PM

Hey out there. Any responses to this one.
My husband of almost 11 years leaves me 5 days ago stating that he is unhappy, lonely, and says that he wants a separation. He states that he told me about a month ago that he was not happy and that things had to change. Today he claims that I did not take him seriously and that I don't love him anymore (which isn't true).
He has been to the house (in my name) 2x to take items and is going to continue to take items for at least another week or so. For someone who only wants a separation is pretty quick to move everything out don't you think? I also go to find that he has been getting "emotional support" from some woman AND spoke with a marriage counselor without my knowledge. He is also discussing $$$ issues (investments) and how we would divy them up. My friends and family think this is all bull and that he just setting me up that in fact he doesn't make it on his own that he has me to rely on. Did I say that he's turning 50 in June? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am looking to consult with a lawyer to make sure that I don't get taken even though he claims that this is only a separation but doesn't know if the marriage is saveable.

GAsoccerman · 04-15-2008, 01:02 AM

well if he is starting to take stuff, I think he is getting a divorce. get a current Update on all your accounts, I have friends whose spouse drained the accounts before Filing for divorce, it got ugly. Maybe you should file for divorce first. You can always retract it. But if he is out and has a girlfriend already I think it's over.

stav · 04-15-2008, 02:40 AM

He went to a counsellor and didn't tell you?? Really?

I think you are being set up, make sure your joint accounts are not drained of cash, and that you know your rights.

Also what sort of 'stuff' is he taking? Not all the expensive gadgetry by chance?

If it's just a s eparation, he should only be taking clothes.

Check your household documents, and if needed, move them somewhere safe. His activities seem distinctly underhand to me.

Green-Moo · 04-15-2008, 03:29 AM

I'm inclined to agree with GAsoccerman, if he is packing stuff up to take away (more than he needs for a short period) then I would think the worst. I think you are absolutely right to be taking some legal advice.

draconis · 04-15-2008, 09:09 AM

I agree with the others that you are being set up;.

draconis

Green-Moo · 04-15-2008, 11:21 PM

I'm not sure I like the use of the phrase 'set up'. Although it sounds as if your husband is being less honest than you'd like, it's possible that he's doing so with the best of intentions. He could be just trying to let you down gently.