Advice please....Divorce is near
Ok, I'm not sure where to start. I've been married now for almost four years. Before my husband and I got married we had a daughter,which only lived seven days due to a health problem which was not detected before birth. I guess we had a hard start, because after her death when I was at rock bottom he walked out on me. He stated he couldn't handle all the depression I was going through. So he left for about two months. Durning that time I had to go through counsling by myself. I did have support from my family,friends and co-workers durning this time. To me it just wasn't the same.
Well, after two months he came back, and at that point I was still depressed but able to handle things better. He stayed and we got married a year later. Things seemed to be going ok, then the issues with his daughter from a previous marriage started. She would act out torward me, and I would always talk to him about it and he would yell saying she would never do anything like that. But, when he would talk to his ex she would tell him the samething which I told him when the event happened. So we have had a time with this over the past two years as well.
We also, have had two sons since getting married. Ever since our youngest son was born, he has been distance. I ask him every other week to go to cousling,but get the same reply "why should I go, there not going to help me" or "I'm not going to talk to anyone". Every time I would try to talk to him I would get upset and start crying, he would get up and leave the room. He would say "he can't talk to me right now" or " I can't handle this". It's at the point now after over two years of trying I've had it!
When I told him I was done trying he just looked at me. Really didn't say anything, this has been two weeks ago. Since then he said he thinks I'm making the wrong decision in wanting a divorce. He said he admitted he was wrong in not listening to me for over the past two years in seeking cousling. He said if I want the divorce, he wants us to live together after the divorce, so he could be around the children still. I can understand that to a point, because he would move over an hour away once the divorce was final. Then I think well he just wants a so called free ride thinking the longer he stays here we may work things out again. I'm not thinking that way at all.. I'm completely done. He said he really doesn't want the divorce but he understands that I've had it.
And in the middle of all of this I've been on disabilty now for over three years because of health problems. I had to have back surgery in November 2007. Things with that recovery and healing have not been going as planned. I also have several other health issues. I also, tried talking to him about this he doesn't want to hear it. His response is "Just deal with it". I told him I need to be able to talk to him about some of these issues with my health , and he says the samething. I told him I thought being in a marriage is also giving/receiving support by means of talking, or even just a shoulder to lean on. He doesn't want to deal with any of this either.
I've tried writing a letter to him,but that didn't work either. So like I stated I'm done. No more tears just anger torwards him. I do care for him because of the children and don't want anything to happen to him. Other than that no I'm not in love with him anymore. That feeling is gone!
So please give me some advice or any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I offered cousling together or by himself and he refuses.
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